Love the Way You Lie
by Shenandoah76209
Summary: Rachel comes to Artie with an unusual request for he and Puck. Why in the world would she want to make another music video after the Run Joey Run disaster? And why this song? Rachel has her reasons and Artie knows Puck will do just about anything for Rachel. How hard could directing a video be? Rated M for eventual lemons, and content including mentions of domestic abuse.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
But that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie_

Rachel frowned at her reflection and automatically smiled to reverse the wrinkles. It was bad when smiling hurt her face. She looked down and rechecked her skirt and tights, nothing showing that shouldn't be. Her camisole and cardigan were warm and matched her tights; her favorite button down sweater with the monkey clinging to one arm, its brown matched her skirt while her tights matched the green of the sweater. Brown penny loafers completed the look. Typical for her, for school, nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary.

Make up was more difficult, but then she wasn't used to wearing a lot of it until recently. That had changed after she and Jesse had dated for a month or so. He'd commented that she should play up her eyes more, emphasize her mouth, that she didn't have to let her nose take over her entire face regardless of how like Barbra it was. Eventually she'd agreed, buying the makeup and perfecting the art of blending to hide any blemish. Her dads had been teary eyed when she'd come down on a Saturday with her face made up, saying how she was growing up too fast. She'd been proud of her eyes and lipstick; she'd done her best to mimic the look Kurt had shown her once.

Puck had taken one look at her red mouth and rolled his eyes when he'd come over to study that afternoon. He'd stayed around and given Jesse a hard look when the other boy had come to pick her up, but Rachel hadn't thought anything of it. Puck gave every guy a hard look if they came near her, he had grinned afterward and greeted Jesse coolly if politely and told him he was practicing for when his little sister began dating. LeRoy had directed his attention to the game after a moment and Puck had cursed a blue streak. Rachel had just laughed at the three men lounging on the couch and told Puck she'd see him at school.

He'd grinned over his shoulder and told her he'd even study on Sunday if she called to wake him up. Jesse hadn't been thrilled by the idea but once she'd explained that Puck didn't have a father around and that his mother was friends with her dads he'd come around. It had taken some convincing but he'd eventually accepted that Puck had no romantic interest in her; he simply liked hanging out with men who were parental and in a house where he wasn't outnumbered by females.

Rachel touched her lips and wondered if they looked too swollen, she didn't think so. The red was just the right amount of dark and looked good with her coloring. Her eyes were smoky and she'd remembered mascara. She'd even managed to shape her eyebrows. Kurt would be pleased, he'd been ecstatic when she'd shown up at school with her face done up after a day's worth of practice before hand. He'd talked about gilding the lily and how perfect her eyes looked; complimenting her on studying the fashion magazines he'd given her.

But today she looked just as she should, which was a good thing, because today she needed to ask Artie a favor and like every boy, he reacted better if he was looking at someone he deemed pretty.

_TBC_

* * *

_Author's Note: So this was inspired by Eminem video and I'd had the idea that Rachel and Puck could play the Dominic and Megan parts and Artie would direct and I thought about using the idea in my Glee fic 'I Don't Mean To Presume' but it didn't seem to fit and I decided I'd use it and make a fic all around it._

_It went longer than I thought it would and so it's multi chapter. I'll probably be posting it slowly over the next few weeks if there's enough interest. Bear with me as some chapters went long and some are (obviously) shorter. _


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_I can't tell you what it really is  
I can only tell you what it feels like  
And right now it's a steel knife in my windpipe  
I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight  
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight_

"Artie," The thin boy spun his wheelchair around at the sound of Rachel's voice. She sounded so quiet, not bright and cheerful or forced and cheerful, just...quiet. It was weird. "Artie...are you still interested in directing?"

When he got a look at her Artie got even more concerned. Rachel always stood ramrod straight, ballet and talent competitions had pretty much brainwashed her body (was that even the right phrase?) into perfect posture. But she was half hidden in the doorway and leaning against the end of the wall of lockers, nearly in the shadows, "Rachel, are you all right?"

"I'm perfectly fine as far as anyone in this school is concerned," Rachel replied in a quelling tone. "Are you still interested in directing?"

"Yeah, but they aren't even talking about the school play until second semester," Artie shrugged. "That's pretty much my only shot this year. Why?"

"I had an idea... a music video, but not like Run Joey Run," Rachel started to make a face and stopped, her expression was odd, Artie couldn't place it.

"What song were you thinking of?" He held his breath and prayed. Directing Rachel was in some ways a dream and in others a nightmare. She knew a lot about movement on film and stage, lighting and angles and she certainly knew drama. But she also could argue until she was blue or he was exhausted and the last music video (Run Joey Run equaled unmitigated disaster in his mind) had not been a success in any sense of the word.

"Well you do some rap, right? I mean I heard you doing some of the music from 8 Mile and you seemed to-" Rachel stopped. "I'll need your help finding the third party. I don't know how to ask anyone else, or even who would be any good. But... if you thought it was a good idea..."

"Geez Rachel you really must wanna do this huh?" Artie had never heard Rachel take so long to speak her mind. "Yeah I like Eminem and yeah I can rap. So can a couple of the other guys. What's the deal?"

"I want to do Love the Way You Lie," Rachel blurted out. "I can sing the Rihanna part, I know I can. But I can't rap, its pathetic when I try; I can't muster the necessary drive to my words so I'd need you to-"

"Okay," Artie nodded. "Okay I'll do it. It's a damn good song, and you're right. Your voice is perfect for the chorus. And if you want to do a video like the song's only set in Lima... yeah we could do that.

Rachel smiled and Artie wondered why she was suddenly so keen to do this, "Wonderful." She grabbed the handle of her rolling case and began to walk along with him. "So do you have any idea who you'd want for the other part?" She tilted her head towards him, "If I may, I don't think Finn will work for the part. I think we want someone who can...be angry and tender...but a different physical type than Dominic Monaghan."

"No I wouldn't ask Finn," Artie rolled his eyes. "I think Rocky Horror proved his lack of acting ability." He looked up at Rachel, "I don't think Mike would be able to do it. Dancing yeah, not rap. Sam might be able to. Blaine possibly but...really..."

"The only one who has the skill and the right look is Noah," Rachel said softly. "If he'll do it," She looked at Artie and he shrugged, "Do you think he will? If you ask?"

"Why can't you ask him?" Artie blinked, "He won't tell you no Rachel. I don't think he ever has."

"Which is why I can't ask him," She shook her head. "If he's willing to do it then great. But I don't want him to agree just because its me, because I asked. If you ask...he won't think I'm making the request."

"Are you all right?" Artie frowned up at her, "You seem a little...off."

"I'm...all right," Rachel shook her head. "I'll explain later."

Artie watched her walk away a bit more slowly than usual and went to find Puck. Something told him this would be interesting.

Finding Puck didn't take long, the football player was at his locker, trying to remember what books he'd need.

"Hey Puck," The football player grinned as Artie rolled up to him. "What're you doin' for the next few weeks?"

"Uh, lettin' Rachel browbeat me into studyin'," Puck ticked items on his fingers, "Football, Glee, chores an' I hope gettin' laid, and hopefully not in that order." He shook his head as he began to put books in his locker and dragged others out. "Why dude? Need help with something? I can put the fear of Jew God into anyone you need."

"Have you noticed anything odd about Rachel lately?" Artie asked and Puck's attention sharpened as he looked down at the smaller boy.

"Odd how? She's been datin' that Jesse guy for the last coupla months an' I'm not thrilled with that but she says he's fun and treats her decent and she isn't serious, she just don't wanna be single when Finn is an' fall back into that habit," Puck made a face. "She hasn't been singing as much though, I noticed that. She let Mercedes have that solo the other day with barely an argument. Something isn't right but she's not talking about it. 'Bout all I can do is hang out with her as much as possible and make a you know pest of myself. Least she knows I'm there."

"Yeah," Artie nodded. "She asked me for a favor. I figured you'd be the best to help with the other part of it." He nodded towards the classroom nearby, "Step into my office. I don't want the whole school hearing about this. Top Secret."

Puck nodded but grabbed his backpack and followed Artie into the classroom, shutting the door behind him. "So what's up?"

Artie took a deep breath and began to explain what Rachel had asked him to do.

* * *

_Author's Note: So here's chapter two. What do all of you think? We'll start to get more of an explanation for Rachel's behavior soon._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_High off of love, drunk from my hate,  
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate  
And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me  
She fucking hates me and I love it.  
Wait! Where you going?  
"I'm leaving you"  
No you ain't. Come back we're running right back.  
Here we go again_

Rachel took a deep breath and smiled as Artie rolled up to her front door and opened it, tilting her head in surprise as Puck's truck pulled up into her driveway, "Artie, please come in. I...I didn't have plans to study with Puck today...sorry I'll tell him to go."

"Nah, I told him I was comin' by," Artie told her as he rolled into the house. "I asked him to be our third. Don't worry, he doesn't know it was your idea."

"Oh," Rachel blinked and took another deep breath and hoped her house was in one piece by the time they were done hearing why she wanted to do this song in particular. "Well I was right... he certainly...will fit the part won't he?"

"Dude can act too," Artie chuckled. "Only problem is we gotta feed him," He watched as Puck practically bounded up the sidewalk to the front door and kissed Rachel on the cheek as he entered the house.

"Feeding Puck isn't ever a problem really," Rachel told them dryly. "You forget I live with an ex quarterback and a point guard. They're still active and they still eat as if they have hollow legs." She led the boys to the kitchen and looked at them after she'd brought a plate of cookies and put them on the table along with glasses of soda.

"So what's up with this video idea?" Puck wanted to know, "Not that it isn't a great song." He added hastily, "Just curious as to what brought it on."

"About that," Rachel pushed her sleeves up to her elbows and exposed her forearms. "It's because of this." She was painfully aware of the boys staring at the hand sized bruises wrapping around her forearms, livid stains of blue and yellowish purple against her olive skin.

"Rachel what-"

Puck's voice interrupted Artie, low and dangerous and Rachel was glad she'd locked the front door, "Rachel did Jesse do this to you?"

Rachel put her hand on Puck's forearm and kept it there, if she was touching him, he was much less likely to go on a rampage, to snap and leave the house in search of Jesse, "I-" She swallowed and tried again. "I don't even know how it started."

"He hit you," Puck's hand, disturbingly gentle, touched her chin, tilting her face up to his determined hazel gaze. "That's why you started to wear alla this makeup crap on your face. You've been covering up the bruises for how long now?"

She shivered and shook her head, "About a month after we started dating...I think." Rachel tilted her head, "I'm supposed to be strong and independent. I wasn't raised to be abused, to be the victim." She told them, "How could I tell my dads what he did? When he-"

"What did he do Rachel," Artie's voice had gone ice cold and when she looked at him, she'd never seen the normally gentle boy look so grim.

"Rachel, baby you gotta tell us," Puck said quietly. "And you've gotta tell the cops."

"I went to the police already," Rachel said quietly. "Before I asked Artie to help me make the video I went to the police and reported it. They got a woman detective and she took pictures of all the bruises. I'd...been taking pictures of myself in the mirror with my camera... I don't know why... but they were time stamped and I gave her the memory card. She isn't sure if it can be used but it can't hurt."

"If you've gone to the cops why make the video, why bother?" Puck didn't get it, and she knew he didn't but he would. Once she explained, once she told him... he'd understand everything then.

"I need to start at the beginning, all right?" Rachel looked at them pleadingly, "Let me just tell it and get it out."

"Just...don't let go of me," Puck requested, his voice low. "Not sure I trust myself to not...break something or someone if you don't keep hold of me Rachel."

"Jesse asked me out...about three months ago I guess," Rachel shrugged. "And it was all right, nothing earthshattering, I thought I had my blinders off when it came to him." She pushed her hair back with her free hand and sighed, "It started when you were over at the house, you and Daddy were watching the game when Jesse came to pick me up."

"He hit you because of that? Because I was hanging with LeRoy?" Puck nearly snarled the words out.

"No, because I was 'encouraging' you, a hoodlum and delinquent and if I was dating him I shouldn't be 'encouraging' other boys," Rachel shook her head, "That was the first time he grabbed my wrist hard enough to bruise. He did that...on and off for a week, and when we went out that weekend I had bruises like these, but he apologized, told me he'd overreacted. He said that he just wanted me so badly he was always worked up and frustrated, and he knew that I'd dated you before. He said he thought I was going to dump him."

Rachel groaned over how stupid she'd been, "Like an idiot, I believed him. He said that he loved me, that he hadn't been able to stop thinking about me since we'd broken up, and that he was so sorry he'd hurt me." She rolled her eyes, "I really was an idiot, I believed all of it. And...when he started to kiss me and touch me...I didn't tell him to stop."

"You had sex with him and he kept hitting you?" Hazel eyes were blazing with fury as Puck asked that particular question.

"I let him have sex with me," Rachel shrugged, "It wasn't like I enjoyed it, I'm not sure he meant me to. It was...in a lot of ways worse than with Finn. As if he wanted it to be just this side of uncomfortable. But he..." She looked Puck in the eye, "I insisted he wear a condom. Every time. I wouldn't let him near me without one. Half the time that's why he hit me across the face. He'd be on top of me and ready and I'd ask about the condom. He'd smack me and go get it, like a reflex." She shook her head, "Sometimes I wondered why he bothered, I mean, he was bigger than I was, nearly everyone is, he could have just forced the issue."

"Maybe he was worried you insisted because you thought he would catch something from you," Artie suggested. "That could be why he hit you, especially if he thought Puck was the guy you first had sex with. He's got a rep."

Rachel nodded, "Makes a sick sort of sense I guess." She picked up a cookie, nibbled on it and set it down in front of her. "That was on a Saturday night after I'd been to the Synagogue. I practiced all Sunday on my make up. I was just grateful I still had the makeup I used in my summer theatre program, it could hide anything."

"And he's been hitting you since then?" Puck had turned his arm so his hand was grasping hers, "What the fuck Rachel? Why didn't you tell me so I could beat the crap out of him, give him a taste of his own medicine?"

"Because I didn't want you to go back to Juvie, or worse, to jail," Rachel shook her head. "I knew if you did anything to him he'd press charges. And then I'd really have problems because you're my best friend and if you were locked up I wouldn't have anyone."

"You'd still have the rest of us," Artie protested though he was remembering all the times Rachel had been quiet in Glee club and no one had asked if she was all right.

"But Noah," She grimaced, "Sorry, I mean Puck, is the only one who-" She shrugged.

"You can call me Noah," He told her flatly. "You an' my family you're the only ones I don't mind callin' me that." Puck looked at Artie, "Unless you and the rest of the gleeks got a lotta shit hidden, Rachel knows I'm the only one who's got experience with abuse."

Artie blinked in surprise, "Your dad?"

"Yeah man, all the damn time before he left, me an' my mom," Puck shrugged. "Why do you think I got so many problems?" He looked at Rachel, "I knew, I fuckin' knew there was something wrong...I shoulda gone with my instincts. I shoulda known when you started wearin' that crap on your face..." He shook his head angrily, "Damnit Rachel, why? Why the fuck did you wait?"

"Because I..." She shook her head, "I thought I could handle it. And then I..." She shuddered, "I couldn't have sex. It wasn't the right time... And he..." Rachel clutched at Puck's hand. "I have bruises almost everywhere. He knocked me down, knocked me across the room, and kicked me, punched me... I felt like I couldn't breathe..." She shuddered. "I wasn't raised to take this Noah. You know I wasn't. I felt so ashamed."

"You didn't do anything to be ashamed of," Artie told her flatly. "That was him."

"I know that, objectively," Rachel sighed. "But...you two...you're guys, you're actually both pretty popular these days, at least you've had girlfriends, or whatever," She wiggled her fingers in Puck's direction, "Whatever you call your many amours." She looked at them, "People don't... they don't like me. I can try to be nicer and I can bite my tongue, but people are never going to like me really. Not for who I am. And this is twice now that someone has said they loved me and then they hurt me in some way. When someone says they love you, its supposed to be important. Special. Because that's how those words feel. Like you're being given a gift. Someone who wants to put you first."

"An' both times...the guy didn't," Puck realized. "Finn lied to you and dumped you. And Jesse beat you." He sighed and picked up a cookie as if just realizing they were there. "All right, so you've gone to the cops."

"You're pressing charges I take it?" Artie asked with a stern frown.

"Oh yes," Rachel nodded firmly. "They're already filed."

"Then what's the deal with the video," Puck asked finally. "I'm not quite gettin' it."

"I'm not the only girl this has happened to," Rachel said softly. "And all I could think, when I sat in the emergency room, waiting my turn... what if someone did this to Tina? Or Brittany? Or Mercedes or Santana, or Kurt? What if someone promised them that they'd love them forever? I don't ever want anyone to think that because someone tells you they love you that then its all right for them to do anything they want. I want everyone to see loud and clear exactly what happened to me and just how I'm going to fight back for the rest of my damn life to see that this doesn't ever happen again." Her voice had grown hard and stubborn and her eyes blazed up at Puck.

"Now that I get," Puck nodded. "All right, go take that crap off your face and let's see the bruises. I'm guessin' it'd be a good idea to film the ending first?" He looked at Artie, "Right? So you get the full effect?"

"I was thinking that too actually," Rachel said quietly. "But I also-" The ringing of her doorbell cut her off and she shook her head. "Sorry, excuse me a minute."

* * *

_Author's Note: So was this what all of you were expecting? Or did I surprise you? Love to hear what everybody thinks. I worked pretty hard on this. I've been in an abusive relationship and known women who've been through the same thing. No matter how you're raised it can happen to you because we're all vulnerable when we love. Sometimes it only takes one thing to make you realize just what is really happening and that something has to change._

_My reasons for writing this are the same as Rachel's for making the video. No one should have to go through this, especially not alone. My relationship is long over and done and I've gotten help to deal with the inevitable damage that was done but I read a note on someone's page, a rant more like, about stories where once the girl's face is healed everything is all better, as if pretty is the most important. I could sympathize with that because it treats abuse as if its a superficial issue when the underlying damage is so much more serious. _

_So I wanted to write something that dealt with that problem but also shows how helpful good friends can be, and that healing truly is possible, with trust and love. _


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_It's so insane cause when it's going good, it's going great  
I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane  
But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped  
Who's that dude? I don't even know his name  
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again  
I guess I don't know my own strength_

Puck looked at Artie as Rachel left the kitchen and shook his head, "Fuck man." He cursed and pushed out of his chair to pace. "I wanna hunt the son of a bitch down and gut him." He clenched his fists, "She's hidin' her bruises with makeup, she's walking stiff and her breathing is off."

"I can't...imagine what she's been through," Artie agreed. "This is just surreal man, I mean-"

Shouting in a familiar voice interrupted him, and Puck was half way out the door before he even realized his body was moving. Rachel was at the front door, and Puck thanked God that she always locked the screen door behind him because she'd opened the heavy door before she'd checked the peephole. Jesse St. James was standing on her front porch raising Cain at the top of his lungs, shouting at Rachel that she had destroyed his life.

"Rachel, back up and call the cops," Puck came up behind her and carefully put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm serious baby, call the cops an' tell 'em you want a restraining order unless they can keep this bastard from being released on bail."

Rachel was already dialing, her voice a steady murmur behind him as Jesse began ranting at Puck now about stealing Rachel, about how he knew the slut was two timing him, and how he should have knocked her teeth out. It was all Puck could do to not slam open the door and throttle the kid. Perfect face and teeth, his handsome face sneering at Rachel as if she was the one who'd been wrong.

"You wanna shut your mouth," Puck kept his voice low and mean and even, the voice he used when he was ready to beat the crap out of someone and he was just saving his energy for his fists. It never failed to scare the hell out of people. "I'm not some five foot nothing girl you can use your fists on," He told the thinner boy coldly. "I'm not the girl you promised you loved before you used her and then treated her like a punching bag. I'm bigger and I'm meaner and I promise you that if I ever catch you alone you will never be able to sing another bass note because I'll make you a permanent fuckin' soprano."

Jesse St. James had something in common with every other guy who'd stood toe to toe with Puck and seen that look in those hazel eyes. It wasn't a comfortable sort of knowledge, but every other male who'd looked Puck in the eye and heard him speak so coldly and plainly knew that if Puck ever got his way that he'd make sure they died a slow and painful death. There weren't many people on that list, Jesse St. James, a hockey player who'd pushed Rachel and Kurt around a few too many times and Jacob Ben Israel who'd taken one too many photo's of Rachel over her fence. Facing Puck through Rachel's screen door the wanna be actor was almost glad to see the cops coming up the front walk behind him.

"This man threatened me," Jesse pointed at Puck.

"Puckerman is that true?" One of the cops clearly recognized him, "You been threatening him?" He was one of the taller cops, dark auburn hair with tanned skin and a wry expression that told Puck he didn't particularly care what Puck had said but he had to ask.

"I told him that he should shut up," Puck shrugged easily, his voice still dark but no where near the level of murder he'd been at before. "Reminded him that I wasn't a tiny little girl he could beat up so easy. And I told him that he should stay away from Rachel. That was after he called her a few nasty names and accused her of sleeping with me when they were dating." He shrugged, "It ain't true but I got a rep."

"Yeah," The other cop was a woman, one he vaguely recognized as the oldest daughter of one of his old customers. Blonde hair, light blue eyes and a nice rack that Puck noted out of habit if not interest. "Yeah you do. Is Ms. Berry here? She called in the complaint."

"I'm right here officers," Rachel poked her head around Puck's arm and he shook his head and unlocked the screen door. "Would you like to come in? We were having cookies and drinks and talking about music videos before we were interrupted."

"We'll just need to take your statement," The woman cop told her. "I can come in while my partner puts Mr. St. James into the squad car."

"Please do," Rachel welcomed the cop into the house, "Artie's back in the kitchen." She explained, "It's the most convenient place for us to hang out."

"This shouldn't take very long," The cop looked over her shoulder at the retreating figure of Jesse St. James being taken to the squad car.

Puck watched as the cop sat at the table and took out her pad, she wasn't bad looking, he just...didn't really care. "So will you guys keep him in jail this time? Or at least make it so the son of a bitch can't come near her?"

"Ms. Berry can get a restraining order, and we'll do our best to enforce it," The officer, her tag said Brewer, told him in a quelling tone. "If he shows up, you call us, we'll handle it. You, Puckerman, will not."

"I make no promises," Puck smirked. "If he shows up here, and he tries to beat on Rachel with me around I'm not going to let him do it."

"Not saying you should," The cop rolled her eyes. "But we'd prefer you just call us."

Puck rolled his eyes, "Yeah, 'cause I wanna go back to juvie." He sat and chomped down on a cookie, keeping his eyes on Rachel. "Seriously though, if he gets out again an' comes around Rachel, you guys can't be around all the time."

"No, that's why we encourage Rachel to not really go anywhere alone," Brewer said flatly. "You mentioned earlier that you have an alarm system. I want you to be sure to arm it when you're home. From what I can tell this guy's a coward. If he can't get you alone he can't hurt you."

"We'll make sure she's not by herself," Puck was warming up to this cop, she was practical at least. "So keep the security system on, don't go anywhere alone."

"Ms. Berry, don't misunderstand me," Officer Brewer looked at Rachel solemnly. "When I say don't go anywhere alone I mean stay in a crowd or with someone large and intimidating. Much as I dislike saying it, Mr. Puckerman fits that description. Don't go out with just one of your girlfriends. Crowds or your dads, someone fairly physical, someone Mr. St. James won't mess with."

"I understand," Rachel nodded. "Thank you very much for coming. I do appreciate it."

"Get that restraining order set as soon as you can. That can only help your case," The cop stood and nodded at the boys. "Stay safe Ms. Berry."

* * *

_Author's Note: So one thing I know is that restraining orders are difficult to enforce. The best advice a cop can give you is to get one because then you're on the record with the problem and try to never get caught alone. _

_I also wanted to thank everyone for the feedback and support. You've all been very kind with the faves and follows and reviews. I really appreciate it. _

_I do want to make clear that in the end, this is a Puckleberry tale. That being said, it may take more than a few chapters before we see these two together in any sense let alone a carnal one. We're also working with three different viewpoints here in case I wasn't clear before, Artie, Rachel and Puck._

_I hope you enjoy and please don't hesitate to ask any questions. I'm editing on the go and putting this up as fast as I can so if I miss something I'd love it if you guys would tell me._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe  
When you're with 'em  
You meet and neither one of you even know what hit 'em  
Got that warm fuzzy feeling  
Yeah, them chills you used to get 'em  
Now you're getting fucking sick of looking at 'em_

Once the cops left they started to plan the video in earnest, shooting locations, sequences, how they could get everything set up without everyone in town knowing what they were doing. Rachel wanted to film part of it at the school, some at the store, and she wanted the bruises to be seen periodically, so people would know, would see throughout the video that this wasn't just a tempestuous love affair, that it was real, painful, dangerous and that it could happen to anyone.

Artie nodded and began to lay out a plan, a schedule of sorts, as Rachel's bruises faded they'd be able to film the earlier scenes, so they'd be working backwards in some ways but she was adamant that the bruises be real.

"I want this to be truth," She said quietly. "I know it isn't all true, Noah won't be the one who hit me and if anyone says he did I'll," Rachel had cast a quick look at Puck and frowned fiercely. "I will set them straight with a hockey stick if I have to. But Noah would never hit me. Would never hit a girl. He couldn't even hit Kurt."

Puck had shifted uncomfortably but changed the subject, "So we could use my house for some of the scenes I think." He suggested, "It's a little more run down, especially in the basement, it's not finished up real nice like Rachel's so it could work as a seedy apartment, got an old bed down there, I stay on it when my nana comes to visit."

"So we've got the hallways at school, the grocery store, Rachel's porch, your house," Artie listed the locations. "How about that park near here?" He suggested, "It's got swings and stuff, could get you two on them, passing a bottle back and forth..." He frowned, "I really don't want us in trouble for underage drinking though."

Rachel shrugged, "I'm pretty sure after martinis tonight that the bottle of Stoli will be empty. I'll ask my dads if I can have it as a prop."

"Rachel, do they know?" Puck asked worriedly, "I mean they aren't gonna see me and think I-"

"No!" She shook her head violently and winced, "No, I told them...I told them when I went to the hospital. I had to call from the emergency room. Daddy nearly..." Rachel took a deep breath and Artie watched her eyes cloud over with tears she refused to let fall, "I thought Daddy would have a heart attack. They went with me to the police station. The only reason they're not home today is so they can have Monday off when we go to court."

"That's something I'd like to have filmed, if possible," Artie wondered if they could get any shots. "I don't know if we'd be able to use it but even a shot of you outside the courthouse, or talking to the police..."

"Flashes you mean?" Rachel asked thoughtfully, "Like memories?"

"Yeah, sort of...we've seen the marks on your face, we'll see the passion of the relationship, and we'll see bits and pieces of the aftermath even if it's never really a full on story," Artie nodded. "I wish I'd had the camera with me today."

"Well I can always ask Detective Espinosa if she'll come by the house and mock up taking my statement," The tiny diva supposed. "She was really supportive about pressing charges."

"See if she will, tell her I can blur her face, keep her in profile and vague if she doesn't want to really appear in the video," Artie nodded. "I'll make up a schedule, we can scout locations tomorrow, see what sort of angles we'll need, and I'll pick up the equipment on Monday."

Rachel nodded her agreement, "Just text or email us and let us know," She suggested. "I don't have to tell the two of you about the song. But if you want to both sing...I'll leave it to you to work out how to divide up the lyrics."

"Could do 'em in unison," Artie suggested. "Two voices, layering over each other, it would reinforce the message." He looked at Puck thoughtfully, "Could be a good sound."

* * *

_Author's Note: Sorry this is so short. I've got the next one being edited and it should be up pretty quick. Forgive me and I'll try to be as quick as I can._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_You swore you'd never hit 'em; never do nothing to hurt 'em  
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit them  
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, hit 'em  
Throw 'em down, pin 'em  
So lost in the moments when you're in them  
It's the rage that took over it controls you both  
So they say you're best to go your separate ways_

Puck looked at Artie and huffed out a breath as he pulled into the lot near the park, "Not sure about the lyrics man." He admitted a bit painfully, "Much as I love Eminem, not sure I can rap about this. Pissed off as I am..."

"Well you know what its like to love someone that much," Artie said quietly, "Imagine that love just... twisted, angry, I guess."

"That's the thing," Puck shook his head, "I don't know what that's like. Only time I ever felt like that was when my old man was around."

"But you're-" Artie frowned thoughtfully and waited until Puck had parked the truck before continuing. "Do you mean you've never felt that angry with someone you loved?"

"No dude," Puck sighed. "I've never been in love. I love my ma and my sister, and I guess I loved my old man but that's it."

"Bullshit," Artie laughed as Puck lifted him down from the truck cab. "And you'll note the level of trust here that I say that while you're holding onto me. But bullshit."

"Nope," Puck shook his head again as he settled Artie into his wheelchair, "Never been in love."

"I say again, bull and shit," Artie argued. "You're so in love with Rachel you're stupid with it. You have been since...well ever since I've known you."

"I used to slushy her," Puck objected. "I used to want to set myself on fire."

"Yeah," The smaller boy rolled his eyes. "You were really dense. You think I didn't notice the only girl to ever elicit that type of strong reaction from you was Rachel? She's the only girl you didn't automatically seduce and move on. You dated her Puck, for a week. You didn't even date Quinn and you got her pregnant."

"All by myself too," Puck snapped, that still being a sore spot.

"Well no, obviously," Artie sighed. "Sorry man, but you're in love with Rachel Berry. If I ever needed proof it was the way you acted when she told us what had happened to her. I've never seen you like that, except when Vocal Adrenaline egged her."

"So you're telling me that because I'm in love with her I should be able to sing about being so nuts about her I'm twisted up pissed about it?" Puck was still trying to figure out that logic when Rachel drove up in her little car and joined them. Most telling, he decided, was the fact that he wasn't arguing with Artie, protesting that he wasn't in love with Rachel. What a time for that fuckin' epiphany, he thought with a roll of his eyes.

"Have you decided who's going to sing what for the lyrics?" She asked excitedly, "I'm really looking forward to hearing you guys. You have such great voices, and such expression I think you'll both do wonderfully."

Artie grinned, "Coming from you Rachel that's like a standing ovation."

"Well you're both very talented," Rachel told them with a smile. "And my dads said we could have the empty bottle. We'll just put water in it so it looks like vodka." She looked around the park, "We haven't been here in a while."

"I brought a camera so I can try and line up some shots," Artie told her. "Why don't you and Puck go sit on the swings and I'll try to frame some things out. See if it'll work or not."

Rachel grinned, wincing slightly and took Puck's hand tugging him towards the swings, "Thank you for doing this Noah." She offered, "I really do appreciate it."

"Well, its for a good cause, right?" Puck felt like kicking himself. That wasn't exactly what he'd wanted to say. "I mean...you know you can pretty much get me to do anything right?"

"Anything?" Rachel grinned at him as they sat on the swings. "Really?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Puck admitted. "I'm gonna rap because you want me to. And I'm doing another music video for you. And after the last one baby, you really oughta be flattered I'm doing this." He wondered if she really had figured out he'd do just about anything for her.

"This is way cooler than Run Joey Run," Rachel pointed out. "Eminem is badass in fact. I heard you say so."

"It's still a music video," Puck pointed out. "I just...I don't wanna let you down Rachel." That was the gods honest truth, in his screwed up life he'd let her down way too often. Juvie, slushies, his half assed way of defending her that never seemed to help much. About the only thing he'd done right was he could listen. He could listen to Rachel's voice forever.

"You never let me down," Rachel whispered. "You're the only boy who never has. Even when you say you will. You don't."

"I'm not perfect Rache," Puck looked at her and took her hand, both of them vividly aware of Artie photographing them for the angles of the potential shot. "I'm screwed up you know that right?"

"Who isn't?" Rachel chuckled, "But we're friends Noah. We'll be screwed up together."

Puck wasn't sure if Rachel realized just how screwed up he was, or if he understood how messed up her head was, but she was right. He sighed and wanted to touch her cheek but he knew there were bruises under that makeup and he didn't want to hurt her anymore, "Rachel... I..." He looked down at their hands. "I know you said you started datin' Jesse because you an' Finn were both single and you didn't want to..."

"Fall back into that habit," Rachel finished dryly. "That worked really well for me didn't it." She shrugged, "I didn't know what else to do. Finn and I never work out. We gravitate towards each other but we don't like the same things, we don't have anything in common except Glee Club. He doesn't understand what veganism even means. And I'm never going to stay in Lima." She rolled her eyes, "I may as well have not even put myself through all this, Finn only ever wants me when I'm happy alone or with someone else."

"Well, try being happy and not alone," Puck found himself saying quietly. "We don't gotta date if you don't want," He offered. "But you could hang out with me." He gave her a teasing smirk, "I know I'm irresistible but I won't put the moves on you. Even if you are my hot little Jewish American Princess."

"You're incorrigible Noah," Rachel laughed at him. "But you're telling me that you'll let me spend time with you beyond the music video?"

"Hell Rachel, it ain't as if its a hardship to spend time with you," Puck turned slightly and looked at her. "I'm just playing with you 'bout the rest of it. I know you're not...you know you're probably not into alla that crap right now. Not after what he did."

"I'm not going to lie," Rachel looked up as Artie rolled closer to them. "Part of me just wants to avoid everyone, male and female." She squeezed his fingers in hers, "And part of me wants to just feel good for once."

"If that's all you want..." Puck sighed and shook his head, "Not sure I can do it."

"It's not all I want," Rachel offered him a timid smile. "I just..." She shrugged and looked at Artie changing the subject. "So will these shots work?"

"Yeah, when we get the equipment, bring the bottle, maybe some evening shots if we can get good light," Artie nodded putting his camera in his bag. "So let's check out the grocery store, see how many shots we can get, and we'll head over to Puck's house."

"If we get to school early tomorrow we should be able to line up some shots in the hallways," Puck suggested. "I'll pick ya up Artie. We can all ride in together." He looked at Rachel worriedly, "That okay with you?"

"I'll make you guys breakfast," She smiled. "Daddy will be happy that you know, he didn't like the idea of me being alone all day at school."

"Yeah, I'll talk to him about that tonight after we get you home," Puck nodded.

* * *

_Author's Note: So here it is...not super long but better than the last one I think. I hope you guys like where this is going. I think the worst part of abuse isn't the physical pain (although that's pretty damn bad) its the way your self esteem just plummets. So I wanted Rachel to be a little unsure, and Puck having suffered through something similar always puts on that front of confidence. He's a bit better off than she is since he's had time to deal with some of his issues and I always pictured Juvie as having some form of therapy simply as a preventative measure against repeat offenses. But lets face it, neither one of these two are the picture of mental or emotional health._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Guess if they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday  
Yesterday is over, it's a different day  
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her  
Next time you show restraint  
You don't get another chance  
Life is no Nintendo game  
But you lied again  
Now you get to watch her leave out the window  
Guess that's why they call it window "pain"_

Rachel sighed as she opened the door for the boys Monday morning, "Sorry I'm not in a better mood." She apologized as she brought them into the kitchen and gave them breakfast burritos. "I didn't take anything for the pain or to help me sleep so I kept waking up the whole night."

"You have to take something it hurts that bad?" Artie blinked at her, "What the fuck Rachel?"

Puck was giving Artie a look Rachel couldn't read, "Dude, getting hit hurts. Like a lot. I know you haven't taken a beating but its worse the next day and the day after that 'cause your muscles stiffen up. The bruises look a lot worse and you feel like shit," He studied Rachel. "Did the bastard crack your ribs? Is that why you weren't arguin' with Mercedes about singing?"

"One cracked rib, three bruised," Rachel nodded. "But the painkillers make me dopey and I can't concentrate and the sleeping pills make me so sleepy I can't function first thing in the morning." She shrugged slightly. "At least I can move now without hurting constantly."

"Okay so I gotta know, so that I don't touch you wrong today," Puck pointed at her arms with one hand, as he devoured his burrito. "So you gotta tell me exactly where it hurts. You know me baby, we start hanging out again, I'm all handsy. Don't wanna hurt you."

"Handsy," Rachel found herself giggling. "Is that what you call your constantly affectionate fondling?" She shook her head as she ate her own fruit and grain breakfast.

"Hell baby, you let me, I'll fondle you anytime," Puck was grinning at her and Rachel nearly blushed.

"Well my arms have a lot of bruises but they don't hurt as much anymore, they're starting to fade," She said hurriedly before she started to move closer to him. His eyes were so... warm. "I'm got a bad bruise on my stomach, and of course my right side, my ribs are bad. My shoulders are okay but my back hurts on the same side and my face...I've got a really bad bruise over my cheekbone on the left side. I've also got...marks on some of my more sensitive areas." Rachel could feel herself blushing as Artie stared, not getting it and Puck's eyes went hot and furious.

"Where," His voice had gone very low and gravely and Rachel shivered slightly. Why Noah being furious would give her such a different reaction than Jesse's anger she couldn't understand yet. When Jesse had gotten angry she'd been afraid, even if he didn't seem angry at her. Noah was very obviously angry but he'd gotten angry before and she'd never been afraid of him. "Rachel," His voice startled her out of her thoughts, and it was as if he was reading her mind. "'M I scarin' you?"

"No," Rachel shook her head, startled that he would even think so. "No I've seen you angry before. I never worried that you'd hurt me Noah. I never thought that." She lifted one shoulder in a shrug, "I was just wondering about that. Jesse being angry really scared me, even if it wasn't me he was mad at, after he left bruises on me I...him being angry..." She shuddered and looked at Noah. "No, you don't ever scare me."

"All right then," Puck looked at her, "Where then?"

It took her a moment to remember the original question and she blushed vividly, she could feel her cheeks burning, "I..." She cast a look at Artie and stood, putting her bowl in the sink before she went and stood next to Puck, keeping her voice a murmur the bespectacled boy wouldn't hear. "Please don't ask me that again. Not right now. I'll show you everything he did Noah, but don't ask me that in front of Artie. Because you know I'll tell you. And...I just..."

"All right," Puck's voice was still low, and rough, but it had softened since she'd first brought up the topic. "I'll take you home after school and you show me baby. I wanna know exactly." He touched her chin, "I gotta know what I'm up against."

"All right," Rachel nodded. "All right, its a deal." She stood tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."

"For what," Puck looked at her curiously. "I just told you I wanted to see you naked," He reminded her quietly with a glance at Artie who was politely pretending he hadn't heard a thing.

"You always make me feel beautiful," Rachel smiled up a him. "If you two are done we should get going."

"Yeah," Artie gulped down the glass of juice as he agreed, "Lots to do. If I can get the equipment logged out in the morning maybe we can do some shots after school."

"That'd be good," Puck agreed. "C'mon baby," He picked up her bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. "We plan this out right we can knock it out in a week or so, do the music, an' edit everything next week."

Rachel nodded slowly, "Noah?" She watched Artie roll ahead of them. "If I start to get crazy obsessed like I tend to...you'll tell me before you want to light yourself on fire right?"

She couldn't help smiling as Puck just laughed, "Rachel, you wanna calm me down all you gotta do is sing. Love your voice baby. And your crazy? It's pretty fuckin' awesome."

"That wasn't a yes," She pointed out as he helped her into the truck and lifted Artie in after her. It wasn't lost on her that he'd put her in the middle so she was snugged between the two boys. When he'd rounded the truck and gotten into the drivers seat Rachel regarded him expectantly. "I'm serious. I know I get...fixated. And I'm annoying. I just want you guys to tell me before I drive you both nuts."

"Rachel, you remember the last time I directed you?" Artie spoke up, an amused smile on his face, "You were scary intense but I think I was the one making you crazy."

"Yeah baby it ain't you who's gonna drive us insane," Puck grinned at her as he put the truck into gear and slung an arm over her shoulder and tugged on her curls.

"Hmm...so when do the two of you want to work on the musical parts of this endeavor?" Rachel let her head rest on Puck's shoulder lazily and sighed tiredly. "I won't be able to breathe properly for at least a few more days. So my part is out for a little while."

"Figure it'll take us some time to get the words an' rhythm memorized," Puck was rubbing her shoulder with his big hand, it felt impossibly good. "But by the time you're able to sing full out we should be ready. Been talkin' about how to split the lyrics up."

"Why don't you give that some thought Rachel," Artie suggested, "You and Puck. Music is your forte after all."

"All right," Rachel nodded. "I'll find the lyrics and listen to the song at lunch today, I'll be in the choir room if either of you want me for anything."

Puck's hand tightened on her shoulder slightly, "Why don't we join you." He suggested after a moment. "Don't really like the idea of you bein' alone. You remember what the cop said."

"Me neither," Artie seconded. "And we can talk some more about how to film everything at lunch."

"That sounds nice," Rachel agreed tiredly. "Noah?"

"Yeah baby?" Puck glanced down at her and she offered him a smile.

"Thanks again," Rachel wasn't sure how to really say it. Thanks was really all she could offer, thanks for the support, for the comfort, the anger on her behalf, for making her feel beautiful.

"My pleasure Rachel," Puck was smirking at her, that lazy 'I want to lay you on a flat surface' smirk that never failed to set her heart racing. "My absolute pleasure, baby." He cast a worried look at her, "That don't bug you or anythin'? Me callin' you that?"

"I'm the only one you ever have," Rachel wasn't sure what that meant but she liked how it felt. She'd noticed that the first time she and Noah had dated, all the other girls he'd been with, he called them babe. Her, he called baby, like she was something different.

"No," Puck frowned. "I've called lotsa girls baby."

"No man, you called Santana babe, same with Quinn unless you were talking to Beth. You don't call anyone baby," Artie reminded him. "Rachel's different."

"Well she always has been," Puck conceded without an argument. "Guess that's just one more way."

Rachel smiled, that was such a good feeling, she didn't know what it was yet, but she and Puck always had something. Maybe when she was healthier they'd figure out what it was.

* * *

_Author's Note: So we have a few precursors as to what's to come and Rachel is coming to realize that she really can trust Puck and Artie. Just a litte note here, this is a story so its...compressed you might say. It took me quite a while before I trusted anyone new in my life (and therapy) but I'm not going to have this story spread out over years. So please take everything with a grain of salt._


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean  
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine  
But your temper's just as bad as mine is  
You're the same as me  
But when it comes to love you're just as blinded  
Baby, please come back  
It wasn't you, baby it was me  
_

Puck looked up at Finn as the taller boy ambled towards him. He never hurried, Puck had noticed, nothing was ever urgent. "Hey Puck," Finn greeted him, "Got a sec?"

"Yeah barely," Puck nodded as he pulled out his bag and began shoving in the books he'd need for the weekend along with his laptop and music. When Finn just stood there Puck rolled his eyes, "Whatever it is Finn just spit it out all right? I gotta give Artie an' Rachel a ride home. I promised man."

"I was thinkin' of getting back together with Rachel," Finn blurted out the words. "She isn't seeing St. James anymore and I'm not with Quinn or anybody else. So I thought why not."

"I'll tell you why not," Puck ground his teeth and fought to keep from decking the taller kid. "She's not a toy you can just pick up and play with whenever you feel like." He forced the words out from between his teeth. "You get bored after a while an' you dump her or you get sick of dealing with her so you dump her but then you watch her with someone else. Then you see what everyone else sees, that she was too good for you and that's why you two broke up and you want her back. Or you start feelin' down on yourself and you remember how Rachel always made you feel good so you want her back." He shook his head, "Well fuck that Finn. And fuck you. This time is different."

"What are you-" Finn didn't get very far with that question.

"What am I talking about? Or what do I think I'm doing speaking for her? Or is it what have I been doing?" Puck shook his head, "I'm talking about how you act, like you're better than everyone else, better than her. I'm speaking for her because I'm her friend, and even if that's all she ever wants from me it's better than not bein' in her life at all. As for what I've been doing? I've been paying attention and I've been hanging out with her, and she's my friend too."

"Man what are you talking about," Finn was looking at him as if he was crazy. "It's always been Rachel and me. It's always gonna be. We're like...perfect for each other?"

"No you're not," Puck shook his head. "I like you okay man, but you're no where near smart enough for her. And you wanna stay in Lima, you're happy here being the football star and you're not really interested in anything that's too hard to do." He leaned against his locker tiredly after shutting it, "Rachel is New York, she's big dreams and a big life. She wants the world. And she's smart man. She knows it's gonna take work and luck and she's okay with that. And she doesn't want Lima. She doesn't want you."

"You think she wants you?" Finn was sneering now, that look of derision that made his handsome face ugly. "Why would she want you anymore than me? I mean all the stuff you said about me? That's you too Puck."

"Yeah maybe, except for one thing," Puck shook his head. "I may be stupid, and maybe she'll never love me, or see me as more than a friend. But I'm not happy here. And even if I never amount to anything in New York at least I won't be here. I can still be her friend there."

"You won't get out of Lima anymore than I will," Finn shook his head. "Why are you hanging around her? You're never just friends with girls Puck."

"If that's all I am with Rachel its because that's how she wants it," Puck rolled his eyes. "But I'll take it because I may be stupid but I'm smart enough to know I'm better off with her in my life somehow." He began to walk away, "I've gotta go."

It didn't take long, especially when he was pissed off, to get out of the school and to his truck. Rachel and Artie were waiting for him, Rachel grinning down at the boy in his chair while Artie was expounding upon something, using his hands for emphasis. "Puck," Artie waved him over, "I think we're just about done! We've been talking about it and the last couple of scenes, I think we can get those done today. We can lay down the vocal tracks and then we should be set."

"Sweet," Puck grinned and looked at Rachel, "You gonna be able to control yourself baby?" He teased.

"I'll do my best to stifle my urges Noah," She giggled and he couldn't help smirking. He'd been looking forward to these scenes all week, imitating the original video somewhat, they were the courting scenes, he and Rachel would have to kiss, act sweet to each other, touch, lie on a bed together... Part of him was still worried he'd hurt her somehow, the other part wanted to see if she'd mind him touching her at all.

"Well keep the ice water handy," Puck told her. "Might need to douse me with it." He wasn't really kidding either. That first day once they'd finished scheduling themselves within an inch of their lives he'd dropped Artie at home first. When he'd gotten to Rachel's house she'd matter of factly turned off his truck and taken the keys from the ignition. He'd ended up in her room before he remembered what they'd talked about that morning.

Puck hadn't been sure how to act when Rachel had begun to strip, for the first time in his life his feelings were mixed about seeing Rachel naked. He'd been amazed and glad she'd trusted him and at the same time appalled that she was just taking off her clothes like he was five and had no clue what to do with a female body. She'd gotten down to her underwear and gone into her bathroom to cream off all the makeup. When she'd come back out he hadn't been able to stop cursing at the sight of the bruise on her face. It covered half her face in ugly blue and yellow and purple. Then she'd taken off her underwear and he'd understood what she meant by marks in her sensitive areas. Her nipples were bruised and so were the curves of her breasts and hips, like she'd been bitten or sucked on too hard.

He hadn't been able to stand it, "God baby, do they hurt?" He touched her shoulder and her unbruised cheek, "Please just lemme kill him Rachel." Puck wanted nothing more than the beat St. James the way he had obviously beaten Rachel. And she was naked and gorgeous and a very basic part of him was reacting to that and he was pissed at himself too because that wasn't what she needed or wanted from him now. Was it?

"No," She moved closer and hissed in pain as she pressed her naked body to his clothed one. "Just tell me if you'll ever be able to look at me and not see how ugly he made me."

He hadn't been able to believe that, that she could think she was ugly because of something St. James had done, wrapping her up carefully in his arms, "Rachel, you're beautiful. I'm always gonna think so. Bruises don't change that. They can't. I'd prove it to you now if you weren't hurtin' so bad." Puck had looked at her and pressed a kiss to the unmarked skin of her shoulder, honesty about how he saw her had to be the best policy. "I look at you baby, and I just wanna touch. You're so fuckin' perfect." He kissed her as gently as he could, "I'm your friend Rachel. No matter what. All right? But you told me...you're not ready for anything else right now. And if I tried to prove to you... well we'd be doin' things you aren't ready for. Doesn't mean you're not... so fucking gorgeous it hurts."

Rachel had nodded her understanding and put her clothes back on, and Puck had let himself relax onto her bed while she lay down beside him and cuddled into his body. She'd fallen asleep until LeRoy had gotten home and Puck had indulged in daydreaming a bit, pretending she'd fallen asleep after sex and they were going to go out that weekend, that she belonged to him. That the marks on her breasts and thighs were from his mouth, given to her because she'd wanted them, not to hurt her. LeRoy had knocked on her door and carefully opened it smiling a bit to see Puck where he was.

The conversation he'd had with Rachel's Daddy had been enlightening, the big black man was practical and furious but he'd cautioned Puck against doing anything to St. James because he didn't want the court case jeopardized. Against his will Puck had agreed, LeRoy was just as persuasive in his own way as Rachel was in hers. And then LeRoy had told him he hoped Rachel figured out sooner rather than later that Puck wasn't just a friend. It was the most open blessing Puck had ever gotten from a parent.

It had felt good, good to be invited to dinner, to have Hiram talk basketball with him, to have Rachel study with him before he left. To be in her life more fully. The Berry/Stein house had always been a safe place for him, ever since he and Rachel had dated. He could act like an ass at school, like a schmuck in public but when he was with his family or with Rachel and her family, he could relax and be himself. If himself was occasionally uncouth and sarcastic, well LeRoy and Hiram were guys too and they didn't mind. The only thing he wasn't ever allowed to do was lie. Hiram in particular had a radar for falsehood that was better than any teacher or Rabbi.

Now though, on the Friday afternoon of their filming week, now Rachel was smiling up at him, and he knew the bruises on her face were almost faded completely. She was moving more easily and he could tell her ribs didn't hurt as much, now he could kiss her and touch and she wouldn't flinch if his hand brushed parts of her that were bruised. "You ready for this baby?" He asked with a smile, "Don't gotta do it today if you don't want, right Artie?"

Artie didn't get it at first, "We talked about this Puck, if we don't-" He looked up to see Puck glaring at him and did a rapid verbal about face, "Oh, well of course not, if you're not ready Rachel, its not big deal to take the day off."

"Very convincing," Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. The bruises are almost faded, my ribs are nearly healed. And quite frankly...I'd like to at least make a start on these scenes today. I know we're hoping to accomplish a lot but you never know." She slanted a glance at Puck that he felt like a bolt of fire right to his dick, "I might need some help remembering how to act with someone who cares about me."

"I'll do my best," Puck pulled up to the grocery store and they all piled out, Artie filming the two of them laughing and twirling each other down the aisles, Puck trailing his fingers over Rachel's hair, Rachel tilting her head and tugging on Puck's jacket.

The store didn't take long, Artie did his best to get the same shot from several angles with the help of the store manager. Puck guessed the guy figured any press was good press even being shown in a video about domestic violence.

Then they were off to the park, with Artie talking technical speak and Rachel nodding like she actually understood, though she just might. Puck grinned slightly, the woman was crazy smart, "So Artie, this next bit, I'm tryin' to figure, we're imitating that scene in the video where they're on the bench drinking from the bottle right?"

"Yeah that's the atmosphere we're going for," Artie agreed. "Got an idea?"

"Just thinkin', the camera won't pick up sound will it," Puck pulled up to the park. "So if Rachel an' me are sorta makin' out, we'd be talkin' some right? So seein' our lips move a bit, like we're talkin'... that'd be realistic?"

"Yeah some," Artie nodded, "Why Puck, are you worried you won't be able to control yourself?" His grin was teasing and Puck rolled his eyes.

"Yeah Artie, 'cause when I got you an' a camera in my face, that's when I'm really thinking of how I'll get to second base with Rachel," Puck rolled his eyes.

"Flatterer," Rachel giggled and her head leaned against his shoulder again in that way she had that he was coming to fucking love.

"Hell," Puck grunted as he hauled Artie out of the truck and into his chair and then helped Rachel down. "Ain't like I don't think about it, just not when Artie's got a camera in my face. I don't do exhibitionism baby. Not with you." He grabbed the camera from behind the seats and handed it to Artie, "Batteries good?"

"Yeah we're good for a while longer," Artie nodded. "When we get to your place we'll need to plug it in though."

"That's not a problem," Puck locked the truck and pulled off his jacket before grabbing the Stoli bottle filled with water. "Right," He looked around, "Swings seem to be occupied by children." He pointed out.

"The picnic table or the bench nearby..." Artie began to figure out which was better, and Rachel shook her head.

"Why don't we start at the slide, I can climb up a few steps and Noah can sort of corner me and kiss me," She suggested. "Then we can sit on the merry go round, it's low enough that' you'll get a good angle, and if it doesn't work we can go to the picnic table."

"We could even get some shots of Puck making the merry go round move a bit, slow of course but it would be a good visual experiment," Artie enthused.

Puck nodded and handed the bottle to Artie, "Better hide this from the babysitters or whatever." He suggested, "We can shoot later with the bottle if we gotta."

It didn't go badly, Puck liked the shots on the slide and the merry go round, spinning slowly as he and Rachel kissed lazily, Artie shooting them from his chair gave him a different angle which was good visually. They ended up on the picnic table with the sun slowly fading, trading sips of water from the Stoli bottle and kissing more and more passionately.

Puck groaned as Artie called cut and took a deep breath, "We got the time to do the last scenes over at my place or are we done for the day?"

"Let's get it done today," Artie pulled out his phone as he shut off the camera. "I'll let my dad know I'm going to be a little late."

"If you want we can order Chinese," Rachel offered. "Daddy gave me some cash in case we ran late today. He said since it was Friday he'd be late getting home anyway and Dad's stuck there along with him." She looked at Puck and Artie hopefully, "We could shoot some with the light still coming in the windows, eat and then shoot some more. I've still got changes of clothing, or I could borrow one of Noah's shirts... it would look, impromptu."

"That's actually a good idea," Puck agreed. "Let's get goin' and we'll get it done. Camera can charge up a bit more when we're eating."

"Then lets do it and we'll be done," Rachel grinned happily. "We'll be able to lay the tracks tomorrow, or Sunday."

Puck nodded and kissed her cheek, feather light over the concealed and faded bruise, "You're gonna work me to death today aren't you baby?"

She grinned at him, and hopped down from the table, "You love it."

"Yeah," Puck admitted and began hauling everything back to the truck.

* * *

_Author's Note: So it has been pointed out that Puck seems to be confiding his feelings a bit too easily and I can see how it could be perceived that way. Keep in mind though, we don't have a whole lot of outside people in this story, it's pretty much Rachel, Puck and Artie. Artie's observant of Puck's behavior and willing to call him on his shit, Rachel needs him to be honest and Puck's very aware that he and Rachel have now had similar enough experiences that they both feel safe in talking to each other._

_It might seem illogical for Rachel to trust Puck and strip for him but sometimes there's a detatchment about the body, especially if emotional trust is of a higher importance to the individual. Puck has always been open about finding her attractive and sometimes the reassurance that an attraction is unchanged is more important than modesty. I figure if anyone could reassure Rachel that Jesse hadn't changed her physically forever it would be Puck. Puck hangs out with her at her house and is her friend but he's still Puck and he's always been prone to remarks about how hot she is regardless of who she's dating._

_I don't feel particularly brave writing this. I'm over forty years old and my experiences dealing with abuse are firmly in my past where I'm able to deal with them. I've been in support groups of various types and therapy at one time and it takes years to get healthy minded about this sort of history._

_I'm in awe of women and men who've been through worse than I have and emerged stronger and with purpose, trying to help others in similar situations. I think unless we deal with our problems we end up with excuses for our own behavior. We all start out with reasons but unless we learn to change, to get healthy for ourselves rather than others, our reasons can very quickly become excuses._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

_Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems  
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano  
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though  
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk  
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk  
Told you this is my fault  
Look me in the eyeball  
_

Artie watched as Rachel laughed and straddled Puck on the old bed. She was leaning down over him and kissing him, sweet and fiery at the same time, his hands skimming up her legs to her hips before Puck gave a jolt and sat upright, wrapping Rachel in his arms, his mouth slanting over hers, demanding and passionate.

"Cut," He hated to do it, they were good, great even, but he needed a better angle. "Don't move guys, I just need to deal with getting some more height."

"You need a chair on casters that someone could push in a circle around the bed," Rachel said thoughtfully as she looked over at him. "There's a computer chair, if we got Amita to push you?"

"Artie's light enough that she could," Puck said thoughtfully and hollered for his sister.

"Geez, loud much, I was only in the kitchen," Amita came down the stairs and screwed up her face when she saw her brother and Rachel. "Eww...I don't want to be involved in your freaky sex games Noah."

"We're making a music video," Rachel looked over her shoulder. "I asked if Noah and Artie would help. Artie's the director but he's also the camera man. We need some help."

"We'll put you in as assistant cameraman in the credits if you help out," Artie offered.

"And I'm paying in chinese food tonight," Rachel added an incentive.

"What do you need me to do," Amita moved closer to Artie curiously. Standing she was around the same height as he was sitting in his chair.

"I'm going to get on that chair, and get it higher than my wheelchair. Then I need you to push me and the camera in a circle around the bed so I can get some good shots of these two," Artie told her. "I'm not heavy so it won't be hard or anything I just can't do it myself."

"And I get my name in the credits and free chicken fried rice?" Amita was grinning and Artie grinned back. With dark curly hair and hazel eyes like her brother her grin was just as infectious as Puck's was.

"Yeah, but you'd have to stick around in case we need more help," He qualified the offer. "We wanna finish up tonight. Tomorrow we lay down the tracks for the video. Then we'll start editing all our footage together and we'll do any pickup scenes we need to finish it off."

"So I could help this weekend too?" Amita was eyeing the camera equipment like it was gold, "Like officially help?"

"Yeah if your mom says its all right," Artie looked at Puck who was wisely keeping his mouth shut at this point and Rachel who was smiling affectionately at the tween.

"She won't care, so long as I don't get in trouble," The twelve year old shrugged off that concern. "So what's the video about?"

"We'll tell you at dinner while the batteries recharge," Puck forestalled that explanation. "Right now, Artie you want help gettin' in the chair or are you good?"

"Probably need some help," Artie admitted with a grimace. "Mobile things aren't exactly stable enough for me to leverage myself onto them."

"It's cool," Puck patted Rachel's thigh and she slid off him so he could help.

Artie shook his head wonderingly, those two were really a little amazing. You'd think Rachel would be flinching at every touch but she had offered to strip down to her underwear and use body make up if it would help. She'd trusted both he and Puck that much. He'd taken Puck's glare as a 'no she won't and thanked Rachel but said that there was no need for her to wear fewer clothes than Megan Fox had.

"So you're gonna hold the camera high up or just on your shoulder," Amita asked him. "And maybe we should practice this once or twice before we turn on the camera?"

"Good idea," Artie nodded, "Lets make sure we got a clear path first and then we'll practice."

It had worked pretty well, Amita had gotten him rolling in a smooth circle by the fourth try and they'd been ready to turn on the camera. The result had been awesome even if Artie did say so himself and then the light had faded out of the windows. He'd gotten one last slant of sunlight dappling Rachel's shoulders as she lay across Puck's body and that had been gorgeous.

Plugging the camera in and charging the batteries had been a relief, and the food had been so welcome. Artie hadn't realized how hungry he was until Rachel had handed him a carton of moo shoo and he'd begun to devour it faster than Puck had gone after the beef and peapods.

"So what is the video about," Amita asked as she stuck a peapod in her mouth and chewed.

"You know that Eminem song with Rihanna," Puck asked her. When Amita nodded Puck shrugged, "We're doin' that song. So we're makin' our own version of that video."

"Why?" Amita shook her head, "I mean it's a great song an' all, just don't get why."

"Because," Rachel pulled up her sweater and showed Amita the greenish yellow and blue bruise fading on her stomach. "My ex-boyfriend beat me. And I want to make sure it doesn't happen to you or anyone else."

Amita's eyes had gone wide and Artie knew his face was a little bug eyed himself as he stared at that ugly mark on Rachel's perfect skin. "Yeah, so she asked me at the end of last week," He explained. "I asked your brother if he'd be the guy in the video and we're both gonna rap. Rachel's gonna sing the Rihanna part."

"Can I listen?" Amita looked at Rachel and her brother and Artie grinned, supposedly he was in charge of this video but he wasn't the one she was asking for permission.

"I don't mind," He offered looking at the other two. Rachel wouldn't mind, it was Puck who was the dark horse. Amita's brother just shrugged and Rachel grinned, "I guess you can listen then." He forked more moo shoo into his mouth and shrugged.

"I can? Sweet," Amita gave a triumphant fist pump before she began to plow through her chicken fried rice.

Artie laughed and looked at his two stars, "So I'm thinking after dinner we switch out your clothes... put you two under the sheets."

"Put Noah on top of me," Rachel suggested, "I can get down to my underwear, push the bra straps down, it'll look like I'm naked." She slanted a teasing glance at Puck, "If you can handle that."

"I'll let you know if I need ice water thrown on me," Puck drawled the words out with a smirk. "There's a reason we ain't doing this in my room."

"Yeah, it isn't big enough," Artie chuckled. "So I was also thinking we use lighting to make it obvious that its night, to make it look like you two are actually living together."

"Well we got a lot of the footage of us storming through halls and slamming doors," Rachel mused, "About the only thing we haven't done is make out at school or fight on the football field."

"Lets get our scenes for tonight done, we can go over the footage we have on Sunday after we get the tracks laid down," Artie shook his head. "If we need more footage we'll film it next week."

"I can help then right?" Amita looked at him this time and Artie grinned.

"I'll make you my official director and cameraman assistant," He told her as he finished his moo shoo and broke open a fortune cookie.

Puck grinned and looked at Rachel, "You ready baby?"

"As I'll ever be," She shrugged. "It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"Yeah well," Puck was actually blushing a bit and Artie stared, he couldn't help it.

"What the hell man?" Artie threw half of his fortune cookie at the bigger guy. "What have you been doing?"

"Nothing wrong," Rachel defended her friend. "Noah hasn't done anything but tell me the truth. I made him look. I wanted to know..." She took a deep breath and stared right at Artie. "I wanted to know if he'd ever think I was beautiful again, if he saw me all black and blue."

"Well he'd better have told you fuck yes," Artie snapped. "As if you could ever be anything but, even with St. James' fists turning you colors."

"Pretty much what I told her," Puck threw the cookie back at him and stood. "C'mon baby, lets get changed into something makes us look nekkid," He leered teasingly. "Give Rachel five minutes and I'll come up and help you get down the steps Artie," Puck tossed the words over his shoulder as he followed Rachel down to the basement.

"Why does he need to be down there with her?" Amita was busy finishing her rice and eating her fortune cookie. "I mean if he's just going to come back up..."

"Most likely he wants to make sure she's all right," Artie explained quietly. "Your brother's... he's... its hard to explain. Rachel's important. I've never seen him like this with anyone else."

"Yeah duh," Amita rolled her eyes. "He's gah gah over her." She wrinkled her nose a bit, "That girl Santana, he used to send her down for soda when she was half naked. And he called her Satan sometimes, or babe."

"But he'd never do that with Rachel," Artie nodded. "And he'd never take the chance of me seeing her naked. I think he might legitimately kill me if I made a move in that direction."

"Damn right I would," Puck said as he entered the kitchen again. "Amita shove all this stuff in the fridge an' by the time you get downstairs you won't have to look at me bare-assed."

Amita made the required 'eww' face but began to put the leftovers away while Puck helped Artie down the stairs.

Rachel was lying on the bed with the sheet tucked up under her arms, for all appearances she looked as if she were nude under the sheet. Artie took a moment to enjoy the contrast between the white sheet and Rachel's olive skin. A colored sheet wouldn't have looked nearly as good. Puck growled and Artie jerked his eyes away, "Sorry man, it's a good visual, camera wise I mean."

"Yeah I know how fuckin' good she looks," Puck growled as he jerked off his clothes and tossed them on the table on top of Rachel's. He grabbed the camera and checked the batteries. Artie watched as Rachel shifted over some and made room for Puck who was turning on the lamp near the door. "All right baby, comin' in," He slid into the bed and propped himself up on one elbow looking down at her with a grin.

Artie grabbed the camera and turned it on, not bothering to unplug it, filming the muscular boy with the mohawk smiling down at the tiny dark haired girl. "That's an awesome shot right there," He praised. "Dude, touch her shoulder or something, just something a little sweet, the calm before the storm."

"Gotcha," Puck bent his head down to Rachel's shoulder and kissed it, his hand on her waist over the sheet, drawing the fabric tight against her body. Artie watched as Rachel's hand drew up behind Puck and came into the camera's view on the back of his neck, her eyes drooping with pleasure. "So beautiful baby," Puck murmured. "Want you so bad."

"That's good," Artie murmured. "You two are giving off sparks practically," He glanced over his shoulder as Amita came down. "Okay cut for a second," Artie looked at Amita, "Can you push my chair slowly towards the bed, and turn it so we get them from the side?"

"I'll do my best," Amita nodded.

Artie grinned and unplugged the camera, turning it back on, "Okay guys, action, Puck you're going to slowly come over Rachel, cheating your profiles towards the camera a bit but I want the two of you in a hot and heavy clinch." After a week of intensive work Rachel and Puck knew each other disturbingly well, and their chemistry was amazing. Puck knew exactly what to do, he rolled over onto Rachel slowly, one of her arms coming up around him, while his arm closest to the camera slid up under her shoulder. The two of them had learned how to keep extraneous limbs out of the camera shot while giving the right impression. As Artie filmed and Amita pushed him closer to the bed Puck and Rachel embraced, kissing passionately, bodies slowly shifting against each other, as if they were going to have sex.

Artie noticed though, the muscles in Puck's arms and back were bulging with tension and knew the football player was keeping his weight off Rachel's bruised ribs, "Cut," He said as his chair halted beside them. "Puck if you can't put your body weight on Rachel it's going to show in the shot eventually," He told the boy. "Seriously, see if she can handle it. If it hurts too much we'll try an overhead shot. I can get up on a table to get the right angle. That might actually work for the rest of this... the two of you side by side, legs obviously tangled up, kissing and touching a bit."

"Noah, go ahead," Rachel nodded. "I've told you my ribs aren't that bad. See how I do."

Puck eased his hips down to hers first and when she nodded began to lower his torso stopping when she hissed in dismay, "Yeah this ain't gonna work baby." He shook his head. "Stay here and let's get Artie situated up high." He pressed a kiss to her lips, seemingly forgetting that Artie and Amita were watching and pushed himself out of the bed, carefully making sure Rachel stayed covered.

Artie chuckled as Amita hid her eyes, "Amita if you could plug the camera back in I'd appreciate it." She scurried to do it as Puck began to figure a way to get Artie and the camera up high enough for the shot he wanted.

* * *

_Author's Note: So Artie POV because I wanted a slightly objective look at our duo. I don't know a lot about filming but I do know that lighting and camera angles are important. Otherwise everything starts looking stale and static. _

_Thanks so much for all the reviews and support. We're going to ease away from pure reality in the next chapter I think simply because I am condensing this and I don't want it to go on for a timeline of years in the story. Plus...there are times we do things that aren't strictly healthy in an attempt to get better. And just because we want them so badly. And that's the only hint ya'll are going to get._


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

_Next time I'm pissed, I'll lay my fist at the drywall  
Next time? There won't be no next time!  
I apologize even though I know its lies  
I'm tired of the games I just want her back  
I know I'm a liar  
If she ever tries to fucking leave again  
Im'a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire  
I'm just gonna...  
_

Puck groaned as he stretched out on Rachel's bed, "Baby, I'mma take a nap." He muttered wondering how he could be so tired when he hadn't even had a football practice that day. It had been three weeks since they'd started this video project and they'd been running nonstop. They'd finished filming, edited and spliced and done the voice work...and then Artie had decided they needed more scenes, more romance, little moments of sweetness and one of implied violence with Puck grabbing Rachel by the shoulders and shaking her.

That had been terrifying and it had been the last scene they'd done today. He'd been literally afraid to touch her, afraid he'd hurt her, it had taken forever for them to get it right. "Noah stop worrying," Rachel's voice drifted over him like cool water. "I'm fine. You didn't even put a bruise on me. The only thing that still aches now and then are my ribs and I didn't even feel a twinge."

He felt her sit on the bed next to him and stretch out beside him, her body cuddling into his, "You sure I didn't hurt you." Puck opened his eyes and stared into hers. "Hate to think about how much you were hurting these past couple weeks."

Rachel's hand stroked through his mohawk and she smiled into his eyes, "Noah I'm fine." She drew closer and he could feel her breath on his skin, he knew if he kissed her she'd taste like the raspberry cough drops she used for her throat. "I'm better than fine, I promise."

"Yeah?" Puck slid his arm around her waist, turning towards her, letting his other hand push into her hair, so silky and soft against his fingers. "How're you feelin' 'bout what we talked about few weeks back?"

"Impatient," Rachel's smile was sweet. "These last three weeks... I love spending time with you. And Artie's great, but the second week when we were editing and singing, we weren't..." She sighed, "I missed you touching me Noah. We didn't have any scenes, no excuse for me to kiss you or for your hands on me at all...I was almost grateful when Artie wanted more shots this past week."

"Yeah, me too, except for the shaking you part," Puck sighed. "I guess I just... I know you're probably not ready for anything...too, well, too..." He groaned, not sure how to say what he wanted without sounding like a jerk or a pussy. "Baby I know you're probably not ready for sex. I wouldn't blame you if you never wanted it again. I'd be depressed as hell about it but I wouldn't blame you." He gave her a half smile when she giggled a bit over that, "See that sound, I love that sound. Love makin' you laugh Rachel."

"You're right and you're wrong Noah," Rachel smiled. "I'm ready but I'm not." She pressed a kiss to his neck and inhaled deeply.

Puck let his arms pull her a bit closer, close enough that she was almost lying on top of his body and looked up at her, "Well if I'm right and I'm wrong." He said quietly, "Do you think maybe you'd like to go out with me? Like to be my girl? Not to get over anybody else or to distract ourselves, but because I really can't go another week without knowin' that someday you might wanna be with me? I want you to be my girl Rachel. I want you to order me around and hang calendars in my locker and demand that I take you places like you did with Finn. I wanna see you wearin' my number at games. And I wanna go to your dance recitals and your talent shows and holler for you." He was stopped from saying anything else by her lips on his, soft and sweet and so goddamn good it was like fire rushing through him.

"Hmmm..." She made that delicious lazy sound in her throat. "I told you that you were right and wrong, so now that I've got your attention I'll tell you why." Puck nodded as Rachel looked down at him seriously. "You're right, I'm not ready for sex with just anyone," She said quietly. "But I want to have sex with you. I'm ready for you. I want to know what it feels like to have someone touch me because he can't stand to not be with me one more second. I want to feel...as if I'm beautiful and that's how I feel when you kiss me, and touch me. I want you Noah, inside me, showing me...everything." She tilted her head and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, "I want that more than anything."

"Fuck yes," Puck groaned as he kissed her, "Oh fuck yeah baby." He wrapped his arms around her back and slid them up to play with her hair and neck, "Don't gotta do anything now but if I don't get to kiss you when it's just you an' me and no damn camera." She tasted so damn good, raspberry and Rachel and her tongue was in his mouth, rubbing against his until he captured it between his lips and sucked on it. Her moan went straight to his cock, it felt like he could bust through his jeans between the exquisite pressure of her breasts on his chest, her hips pressing to his, her pussy rubbing against his dick.

"What if I want to do something now," Rachel's hands were clutching at his shoulders, drifting down to rub at his pectorals. "Noah, what if I want to have sex with you today?"

"Aww Rachel," Puck groaned and dropped his head back. "You know I don't wanna say no to that. Want that more than anything but you're..."

"Noah I've never felt like this with anyone else," Rachel glared at him. "Seriously, you make me feel...gorgeous, wanted and so...ready I could explode." She tilted her head, "You told me nothing he did could make me less than beautiful to you. I want you to prove it to me. Please Noah. For once I want this to be my choice."

"All right," Puck nodded, "Then tell me, anything they did, you didn't like?"

"Apart from me always feeling uncomfortable," Rachel shrugged. "I feel more...aroused by you kissing me than I did when Jesse put his mouth on me. The only thing I'm worried about is when we change positions. With Finn he was so big I could hardly move, so he was in charge and that didn't work well since he didn't know what he was doing. And with Jesse...he was..." She shrugged again, "He never waited for me to catch up to him."

"So we don't change positions," Puck smirked and sat up so Rachel was straddling his legs. Pulling off his shirt he grinned as she blinked and her mouth fell open a little, one of her hands touched his nipple, slightly misshapen from his ring being torn out in juvie, caressing the sensitive flesh. "I always like it when you tell me what to do Rachel," He reminded her with a wink. "I think you'll get off on being on top. When you're ready we'll try something more traditional."

Rachel's tongue slicked over her lips and she looked at him incredulously, "You'll really, I mean let me... but Noah..." She tilted her head and her other hand caressed his shoulder as if she couldn't stop herself from touching him.

"What? You really think my ego can't take a girl bein' in charge?" Puck nearly chuckled at the look on her face, "I want to feel you coming around me baby. I want to watch you come apart riding me. And someday I'll have you under me, feel you wrap your legs around my waist and buck up against my cock." He let his hands move towards her shirt and began to unbutton it, smoothing his fingers over her skin, his thumbs rubbing under her breasts. He groaned as she began to fumble with her skirt zipper. "Tell you what baby, lemme help you with that, we'll get our clothes off, see how you're feelin' then. All right?"

Rachel tilted her head at him, "Noah, I'm feeling like I could break out of my skin I want you so badly, the way I'm feeling its like we've had three weeks of foreplay." She took his hands and put them on her hips while she shrugged out of her shirt and unhooked her bra, "Just take my clothes off me, and get your jeans off of you."

Puck chuckled and tumbled her off of him, she was on her back again as he began to tug off her skirt and tights. Now she wore nothing but her panties and he couldn't stand it, he hooked his fingers on the waistband and watched as she lifted her hips so he could drag them down her legs. "God Rachel... you're so fucking beautiful." He groaned, "You make me wanna taste you baby."

"You want to put your mouth..." Rachel blushed and he watched fascinated as the color seeped down her throat to touch her breasts. "Oh my god Noah."

"Yeah, that's what I want to hear," Puck groaned and pulled off his jeans and shorts. "And I'm gonna hear it when I got my mouth on your sweet pussy Rache." He slid back onto the bed and kissed her, "You trust me baby?"

"Hmm..." She was nervous, he could tell, but she was so responsive, felt so good in his arms, soft skin pressing against his. "I do yes. I'm just...you're important Noah. I don't want to disappoint you." Her hands pressed to his skin, moving down towards his cock and he groaned as she gripped him.

"Oh baby you keep that up an' I'm gonna disappoint you," Puck shuddered. "You got talented hands," He covered her mouth with his, nibbling on her lips until she moaned and parted her lips, her tongue rubbing against his in unspoken demand. He couldn't stand not touching her anymore, palming her breast carefully, her nipple scrapping against his palm, "Oh my god Rachel."

"Noah," She moaned and arched up to his hands. "I... oh God Noah," Her fingers tightened around his cock and Puck dropped his head down to her other breast, his tongue flicking out to tease her nipple, pert and erect against his flesh.

"Baby you're so good," Puck groaned and let his mouth surround the tight bud, sucking gently on it. "So fuckin' good Rachel," He moved to her other breasts, "Does it feel good Rachel? Like it baby?"

She was shivering, her hand stroking his cock while her other hand gripped the back of his neck as if to keep his mouth on her tits, "Yes. Please Noah, yes." Her voice was a gorgeous moan of pleasure, "I love it Noah. Oh more, please more, please... harder."

"Hmm..." Puck groaned against her skin, "Whatever you want Rachel." He fixed his mouth to her breasts and began to suck and tease, obeying her desperate cries for more until she was shuddering under him and he had to touch her more. "Baby, is it still good?" He cupped her pussy in his hand and petted the swollen mound. Her skin was slick and soft and hot against his fingers, she'd had a wax or something so she had barely any curls, just a little strip and he looked down at her unable to believe it for a minute.

"Yes," Rachel nodded frantically and he couldn't help it, he pushed himself up and found her mouth with his. She moaned as his body covered hers and wrapped his arms around him, "Please Noah, please I'm so..."

"I wanna eat you Rachel," Puck muttered. "Wanna feel you comin' on my face," He couldn't stop kissing her, pressing his mouth to hers, then to her neck and the soft flesh of her shoulder. "Want you ridin' me, takin' everything you want baby."

"I want you Noah," She was almost begging. "Please, just touch me...whatever you want...please." She was flushed and warm and so beautiful, her eyes almost black with need, breathless and clutching at him because he was who she wanted. Puck wasn't sure if he could stand it much longer, wondered if he should excuse himself and jerk off in her bathroom so he could be sure of controlling himself. And then she took his hand and pressed it between her thighs, "Please Noah. I want you to touch me."

"Yeah, an' God do I wanna touch," Puck agreed with a moan. "I wanna taste Rachel. Can I? Please baby?" He kissed her again and let his fingers slide into her hot wet folds finding her clit and stroking it with his fingertips. Her moan came out with a shudder of pleasure and he groaned as her hand tightened on his cock. "Baby unless you want me to shoot all over your stomach," He shuddered. "Maybe ease up on me a bit. Already nuts about you Rachel, but feelin' you like this...I'm gonna go crazy."

Her fingers loosened around him and she whimpered, "I want you to feel good Noah." She kissed him, her hands on his hips, "Please Noah, let me..." She kissed his shoulder and tried to move downward, "I want to make you go crazy."

Puck groaned, "This is for you baby." He kissed her gently, "Afterwards, you do whatever you want to me. But the first time Rachel, I want you to enjoy it." He kissed her again and looked at her, "Baby, I promise, I promise, I'm all yours. But this is our first time and I...I really want to make sure you want to do it again."

Her giggle was like a caress on his skin, "Noah, even if it's a disaster from this point onward, I'm going to want to try again. You've made me feel so good..." She smiled up at him and kissed him, "And I'm really curious about what you're going to do next."

"I'm gonna make you come," Puck grinned and began to kiss his way down to her slit, loving how she moaned at every touch of his mouth and stilled in shocked pleasure when his breath hit her clit. Sliding his hands up her thighs from her knees he pushed her legs apart and draped her thighs over his shoulders. Her hands were fisted in the fabric of her bedspread as he surrounded her clit with his mouth; she shuddered and the low startled moan she made was the best sound he'd heard yet.

She tasted like raspberries, that was his first thought. How Rachel Berry contrived to make her pussy taste like raspberries he didn't understand but he fuckin' loved it. He kept his hands on her cute ass and squeezed holding her body to his mouth as indulged his hunger for long licks of her slit and sucking on her clit until she was thrashing on the bed. Her words completely gone except for a long wonderful scream of his name when she finally clutched at his mohawk and bucked up to his mouth coming hard under his lips and tongue. She was panting and shivering when he climbed back up her body and wrapped her in his arms.

Puck hadn't thought she could get any hotter, she was so fucking sexy when she came but she draped her arms around his neck and kissed him, licking into his mouth like he had her slit and sucking on his tongue. He groaned and rolled so he was on his back, pulling her over him so her pussy was rubbing against his cock and kept kissing her. "You're so fuckin' hot baby," He knew he sounded like an idiot but he was so hard he felt like he'd lose his mind.

"Hmm...I want you to fuck me Noah," Rachel whimpered into his mouth. "Please. Noah. I want to feel you inside me."

"Got a condom in my wallet," Puck muttered and was surprised when she began to fumble for her nightstand drawer. "Rachel?"

"I've got condoms," Rachel told him as she reached into the drawer. "I don't want to use one though. I'm clean Noah. I swear. And I'm on the pill. I have been for six months, please." She looked at him pleadingly.

"I'm clean baby," Puck whispered. "I promise. I'm clean. I won't get you sick, but we gotta use one...just in case. Gotta have good results for a year before I'm safe for you." He grabbed one out of her drawer and rolled it over his aching dick while Rachel's hands petted his skin. Puck looked down at their bodies and moaned, "Rachel I wanna be inside you so bad. Put me there baby."

"I don't know how," Rachel squirmed against him, "Please Noah." She was straddling him and Puck groaned and put his hands on her hips lifting her slightly.

"Its okay Rache," He assured her, "You just lift yourself up slightly like I'm holding you now, got those great legs, so fuckin' sexy." Puck groaned as she did as he instructed and held herself over his body, "Fuck you're hot." He took her hand and put it on his cock, helping her to line his body up to hers. "Just like that baby, an' you ease yourself down onto me..." He looked up at her face and smiled, she was so beautiful and sweet and nervous. "It's okay baby, you're so beautiful, and you're in charge of this. I don't do anything here you don't want."

"I want this," Rachel told him steadily. "I want you Noah Puckerman. I want you inside me, moving in me and showing me that you think I'm beautiful. And I want to feel you, your cum shooting inside me, I need you. I need you Noah." She began to slowly lower herself down onto his cock, gasping in surprise. "Oh...Ooohhh...god Noah," Rachel's face was astonished and ecstatic and Puck gasped as she surrounded him with her tight wet heat.

"You're so tight baby," Puck groaned, "God Rachel you feel so good." He shuddered as she shifted and moved and struggled not to take over and fuck her hard and fast. "Oh fucking goddamn baby, Rachel," It was his turn to fist his hands in the bedspread.

"Noah, you feel so good..." She moaned, "But I...I want to...move...please, how do I..." Rachel bent down slightly and kissed him, "Noah help me."

Puck smirked and put his hands on her hips, "All you gotta do is move how you want." He told her with a groan. "How do you wanna move Rachel?" He couldn't help rubbing the soft skin over her thighs and rotating his hips slightly. Her moan was intoxicating.

"Oh God," Rachel's body clutched around him and she caught her breath. "Noah, oh..." She moved her hips experimentally and Puck moaned at how good she felt. "Noah, help me move, please god help me."

He couldn't take it anymore, "Okay baby." He sat up and pulled her knees forward so she was forced to lean back a little, "I'm going to put my hands on your hips and help you move." Puck kissed her, unable to resist the taste of her again. "You feel so fucking good Rachel," He groaned into her mouth. "Gotta move though baby."

"Yes, please Noah," Rachel shuddered and he felt her clenching tight around him as he began to move her hips. "Ohhh..." Her hands clutched his shoulders and she kissed him, her mouth like fire as he helped her rock her body onto his.

God help him she was so tight, slick and hot until he thought he'd lose his mind, "Touch your clit Rachel." He tore his mouth away from hers, kissing her neck, "Put your fingers on your clit, touch yourself...want you to come good baby." He kissed her neck and sucked on that sweet spot behind her ear, "Rub your clit while I fuck you Rachel. God you feel so fucking good."

He could hardly think she felt so good, so wet his balls were damp from her juice, and she kept getting tighter and tighter. She was moaning into his ear, slid her fingers down between their bodies and he could feel the moment she touched her clit, "Noah, ohhh...Noah, you feel so...I need..." She shuddered around him and her mouth fastened to his neck. He could feel her fingers moving, her body so tense, and her voice moaning into his ear.

"I know what you need baby," He felt her begin to flutter around his cock, felt his balls getting tighter. "God Rachel, god, so good sweetheart," Puck pulled her body onto his a bit harder and felt her fluttering intensify. "That's it," He groaned, kissing her neck, her breasts, "Let go baby, come for me."

"Noah, oh God... Noah," Her voice had risen to a scream again as her body convulsed around him and Puck lost it, his control completely gone as she came around him.

"Rachel," He groaned and jerked her on and off his cock hard and fast, her pussy a tight, hot, wet heaven he couldn't stand to leave for more than a second before he shuddered, stiffened and shouted her name as his orgasm hit him like an explosion in the base of his spine. "God baby," He muttered into her hair and wrapped his arms around her, helping her pleasure weakened body lie down on top of him. He was still inside her, could still feel the aftermath of her orgasm trembling through her. She still felt like heaven.

"Noah..." She murmured his name hesitantly, her hand over his heart.

"Yeah Rachel," He didn't care what she asked, if it was stupid or insecure, he was going to make sure she knew how damn important she was to him.

"Was I...any good," Rachel's voice was shy, uncertain and Puck rolled so that she was beneath him and let her feel how much he wanted her again, his body ready and willing, already craving the feel of her around him again.

"Rachel I've never..." Puck kissed her nose affectionately, "Ever felt like that in my life. You're perfect baby. You're so fuckin' perfect." He rolled his hips against hers, "You feel so good I want you again. I'm a stud baby but I don't get this worked up for just any girl."

She giggled up at him and kissed him, "So since we're in the position, maybe you can show me how this method should be done right?"

Puck rolled his hips again, "Yeah maybe we should try that out...an' if it don't work... well...you know I'm a big believer in ladies first. And you are a lady Rachel." He kissed her gently, "Wanna try something though baby. How 'bout slow..." He took slow sweet sips of her mouth, "An' sweet. You're so sweet Rachel."

"Hmmm..." It felt like she nearly melted into him, "I bow to your expertise Noah."

He almost gave himself a heart attack but he did manage slow and sweet with her, and when she came he felt like God she was so passionate; the power of her orgasm was like a storm through her. When he finally let himself come Puck felt like he was dying, Rachel's legs wrapped around his waist, feeling her moaning and writhing under him before the tsunami crashed over them both.

She felt so good, Puck rolled again, pulling her back on top of him and patting her gorgeous ass when she moaned, in protest. "Sorry baby, just don't wanna flatten you," He muttered once he'd gotten rid of the second condom. "How're you feelin'?"

"Hmm...so good," Rachel moaned against his neck. "God Noah...I'm really wishing that I'd let you seduce me when we were dating."

"Yeah me too," Puck laughed and shifted slightly so he could look into her eyes, "I gotta tell you something baby." He shook his head when she looked alarmed, "Its not anything bad, guess my timing could be better. I guess guys aren't really supposed to say stuff like this, during or after sex, but I..." He couldn't stand it, he had to touch her, cupped her face in his palm. "Artie figured it out before I did... but I couldn't deny it. I'm in love with you Rachel."

"You didn't want to say that before we had sex because that's what they did," Rachel whispered and smiled at him. "I adore you Noah. You're my best friend." She looked down and then up at him, "You know I can't say it back right now. You know I love you..."

"Yeah baby," Puck smirked. "You don't wanna swell up my ego." Part of him had selfishly wanted her to say it back right now. But this was his girl, she needed to feel safe for a while before she was that vulnerable. Sex wasn't nearly as important as her heart, "I get it Rachel. I know you love me or you wouldn't have ever let me into your bed. Just...don't kick me outa your life. I'll wait forever for you to say it back."

"Oh Noah," She kissed him gently. "I don't think you'll be waiting long. Just don't give up on me."

Puck couldn't stand it, she was so fucking perfect, he had to tell her so, "Can't take it. You're just so damn beautiful." He kissed her again, "So you're my girl now right?" He groaned into her mouth, "You never said if you'd go out with me baby. You said yes to sex but you didn't say you'd date me."

"Yes Noah, I'm your girl," Rachel giggled into his mouth and that was the best taste, her laughter in a kiss. "I think I've always been your girl."

"I can live with that," Puck grinned and kept kissing her.

* * *

_Author's Note: So in reality...Rachel probably wouldn't have had sex with Puck so soon. Victims of abuse tend to go in one of two directions, they become promiscuous using sex as a weapon or method of control, punishing themselves or others or they shun all contact, become withdrawn and have problems embracing their sexuality._

_With therapy and help and a loving relationship both of these difficulties can be overcome but its not easy. I figured that Puck is still a teenager even if he does want whats best for Rachel he wouldn't have the knowledge or the willpower to resist her if she threw herself at him. And Rachel might have fallen into the trap of thinking sex is no big deal if she'd chose anyone but Puck for her partner. So just by being himself he'll forestall some of those repercussions. And he's not a total idiot._

_Plus her dads, also not stupid as we'll see in the next chapter._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn  
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts  
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry  
But that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie_

Rachel twisted her hands and stood in front of the Glee Club casting a nervous glance at Artie and Puck who were sitting together in the front row. Artie grinned and nodded and Puck winked at her which still made her blush. He was being very circumspect while they were at school, keeping his PDA to a minimum though he'd made a point of making sure he was always around. He'd corralled Sam and Mike into helping him make sure she was never alone.

When the boys had asked her why she'd just said that she and Jesse were no longer dating and that he'd become more than a little obnoxious. She'd been jumpy at school ever since Jesse had begun hitting her and that hadn't gone unnoticed by the boys so they'd been more than happy to help out. Rachel would give her fellow glee clubbers that much. They might not be the most observant in the world but if you asked them for help they gave it.

She and Puck had become closer than ever and her dads, unlike her fellow students, were not unobservant. They'd very quickly figured out she and Puck were having sex. They had not been pleased with either of them at first. Puck had been quiet and then he'd told her dads that he wasn't going to break up with her. Then he'd shocked her and said that if Rachel decided she didn't want sex that he wasn't going to push the issue. He'd been surprised when she initiated it and happy but the more he thought about it the more he was worried she was having sex with him to prove something to herself.

Oh she'd been so mad at him. She'd started to yell at him, right in front of her dads, and Puck had just sat there and taken it. When she was done he'd just smiled and told her he loved her and he didn't want her to think she had to have sex with him for him to love her. Her boyfriend wasn't an idiot apparently, no matter how he tried to act at school. Her dads had liked Puck before but after that, he was pretty much a non-biological son for them. She'd done her best to explain her reasoning for sex, that she actually wanted it with Puck, that she felt good with him.

Her dads had finally seemed to accept that and watched Puck give her a fairly (for Puck) chaste kiss good night before continuing the talk over dinner. There had been a lot of arguing, and a lot of tears and explanations and them trying to understand her reasoning until she'd blurted it out, "Daddy, Dad, finally, finally sex feels good. I feel wonderful when I'm with him. He… he lets me be in charge, he's always waiting for me to tell him stop, asking what he can and can't do, Noah… treats me like I matter." She'd been blushing but persevered, "I know…I know it probably wasn't one of my brightest ideas but…when he kisses me I feel so much more. And I feel safe. I fell asleep and had a nightmare… he held me, woke up me up and held me, and I felt so much better…"

"Baby girl, I don't doubt that you love each other, but with what you've been through its going to take more than Noah loving you and you loving him to get healthy," LeRoy had said finally.

"Well make you a deal," Hiram was quieter than LeRoy but infinitely more stubborn. "We won't object to you having sex with Noah anymore. If," He held up a finger, "If you agree to go back to therapy. Right now you're happy and in love and you're avoiding the issues. That's not going to work forever. If you want this relationship to last then you need help baby."

"I don't want him to think I'm crazy," Rachel admitted softly. "He loves me…our first time…he kept stopping. Noah Puckerman, at least Puck, doesn't offer to stop with sex. If a girl says yes then until she says no he goes with the yes. But with me… he's so careful."

"Somehow I think the young man who tells you he loves your crazy will understand the concept of needing therapy to deal with abuse," LeRoy had pointed out. "If you like we'll even arrange for him to go with you sometimes. He might need a little help to deal with some of your issues if they begin to crop up in the bedroom."

Rachel had blushed so red she'd felt as if she had a fever but she'd agreed. There was no way she was going to give up sex with her boyfriend when she was finally with a man who loved her and took care of her the way Noah Puckerman did. But now she had to tell him about the therapy. And she was still stuck with the glee club and trying to figure out what to say about this video. When Mr. Schuester walked in and looked at the movie screen in confusion she'd had no choice but to rise and stand before the club.

"So you all know that I was dating Jesse St. James again," She began quietly. "And we broke up. There were reasons for why I broke up with him, and why I was out of school one day and why I'll be gone for a few days next week." She was jolted out of her prepared speech by Santana making a rude noise and took a deep breath.

"Right, none of you really give a damn about my private life," She shrugged. "But...something happened and I asked Artie and Noah to help me make a video. Because I..." She looked at Santana and then at Kurt and all the other girls, "When someone tells you they love you, it doesn't mean they have license to hurt you. Love shouldn't be a permission slip. I asked Artie to help me make a video because I wanted to make sure what happened to me never happened to anyone else. Ever again."

She began to walk to her seat next to Puck and was stopped by Mr. Schuester, "Rachel, does this have anything to do with you not singing the solo last month?"

Rachel looked at her teacher and turned off the lights before she took her seat, "Yes. I couldn't breathe properly." She smiled at Artie, "I think we're all ready."

Puck's arm slid around her shoulders and his free hand closed around hers to keep her from fidgeting, "Relax baby." He murmured into her ear, "It's great."

Rachel couldn't help herself, she leaned into him and let his warmth seep into her body. "I just want them to understand," She admitted softly. It had taken time, more than the couple of weeks Artie had hoped for, but finally two months after they'd started their project, the video was done, edited, added to, rechecked, edited again and finally completed. She'd had nightmares and now and then something reminded her of Jesse or she thought she saw him and then she was incredibly grateful Puck had insisted on driving her to and from school. He'd also started to call her right before she went to bed so his voice was the last thing she heard before she slept. She couldn't know if Puck was aware of how much his voice helped her but the nightmares weren't as bad when she talked to him before falling asleep.

Artie cast an annoyed look at them and Rachel bit her tongue and simply kissed Puck's cheek before their director hit the remote. The projector flickered on and the pull down movie screen brightened with the preliminary numbers counting down. And then there was only a dark screen and the silhouette of McKinley. And her voice singing the chorus before the boys began to rap. The scenes they'd filmed, flirting and hints of violence, fights, bruises showing on Rachel's wrists, shouting at each other on the football field, making out in the halls against his locker, more bruises, making love, fighting and loving each other flowed across the screen. And finally the last scene with Rachel's voice dying away, her naked expression staring at the camera the bruise from Jesse's fist marring her face.

Rachel smiled slightly as one of the band members turned on the lights and the credits rolled before Artie clicked off the projector. There was a moment of stunned silence that had the actress in her gleeful with delight and she looked at Artie who grinned his agreement. Then the noise started. Every voice in the room besides the three involved in making the video was shouting, asking questions, demanding answers until Rachel just leaned against Puck in exhaustion.

"Alla ya just shut the fuck up!" Puck roared over her head at the rest of the group, "Rachel told you why she wanted to make the video. And I think the bruises and broken ribs that son of a bitch left her with speak for themselves."

"That wasn't makeup," Kurt looked appalled, "Rachel why didn't you say anything?"

"For the same reason I didn't say anything to any of you when Finn dumped me in the Christmas tree lot," Rachel shrugged. "The people who needed to know did. The rest of you..." She'd decided she wasn't budging from her position within Puck's arms. This was where she felt safest and this was where she was going to stay.

"But why aren't you pressing charges?" Mercedes wanted to know, "You can't let the boy get away with that."

"Wow," Artie rolled his eyes, "You guys really can be clueless sometimes. She was gone a whole day because she was in court."

"Yeah she's gotta restraining order against St. James, so if any of ya'll see him around call the cops," Puck drawled playing with her hair. "He isn't allowed to be within a certain distance."

"How did this happen?" Tina asked quietly, "You never seemed like you'd...tolerate being treated like that."

"Which was why I was so ashamed," Rachel admitted. "I was raised to be a strong, independent powerful woman. But for some reason... love has always been my Achilles heel. I've had three men say they loved me who weren't related to me. Two of them turned around and...hurt me, deliberately hurt me. I suppose I thought love was supposed to fix everything, make everything all right. But it doesn't. It isn't an excuse, it isn't... the get out of jail free card they treated it like." She looked straight ahead and took a deep breath, "I know that nobody here really likes me, except Noah. That's all right. You don't have to like me because a lot of times I'm not likable. But even if you don't like me, or I don't like you, none of us deserve..."

She was forced to take a deep breath as her voice broke and Puck pressed a discreet kiss to her hair, "None of us deserve to be waiting in the emergency room, wondering how to tell our parents that the person who swore they loved us put us there. We don't deserve to wear pounds of make up or have trouble breathing or singing because we have cracked ribs. And we don't deserve to feel...worthless, that the person who promised to love us can treat us like that."

"Who's the third person," Quinn asked in a cool clear voice. The Cheerio was the epitome of control and Rachel felt like flinching from the chill in that oh so sweet voice.

"Someone who deserves better than what I've been giving him," Rachel said quietly. "Better than me. But he keeps saying he doesn't want better. He just loves me. And I'm selfish enough to let him." She looked up at Puck, "I'd like to leave now if you're ready."

"Yeah," Puck nodded and his hazel eyes were green and dark with affection. "Yeah baby, let's jet." He looked at Artie, "You okay to get home man?"

"Yeah I'm cool, gonna run some stuff by Mr. Schue an' then I'mma catch a ride with Brittany and Santana," Artie smiled.

"It went pretty well didn't it," Rachel smiled hopefully at her friend.

"Yeah," Artie's smile widened to a grin and he made shooing motions with his hands. "Go on, get. I'll stall the gossip twins."

Rachel smiled as Puck grabbed her bag and his before walking quickly with her out the door, "So I wanted to tell you something." She waited until they were down the hall before speaking. "Besides thank you I mean."

He grinned down at her, that lazy sexy expression she just adored, "Don't ever gotta thank me for helping with the video Rachel." He leaned against the lockers, "Or for other things either. That is my pleasure baby."

Rachel blushed, she knew Puck loved that he could still make her blush, "I wanted to tell you..." She moved closer, "You deserve to hear it." She watched his eyes go gold, hope brightening his expression, "I love you Noah." She kept her voice low, private, just for him, "I'm...I'm so in love with you...it scares me."

"Don't be scared baby," Puck's hand cupped her cheek lovingly; "I'll never hurt you."

"You can't promise that Noah," Rachel smiled, "I don't want you to promise that. Because if we love each other...we'll end up hurting each other... but I know you'll never want to. And neither will I. Just promise me that we'll never stop trying to make this work."

"That I can promise," Puck nodded. "I love you baby." He looked over his shoulder, "Let's get home before Finn figures out that we're official and starts to whine like a little bitch."

"You're too late," Rachel pointed over his shoulder and Puck groaned. "We may as well listen to him, he'll just follow us otherwise and we'll never get any time alone."

Puck rolled his eyes and looked at her, "Then I'm gonna give him something to rant about baby." His eyes gleamed wickedly and Rachel just knew that his days of discretion were over, she was about to be kissed within an inch of her life. His mouth came down on hers, hot and coaxing a response and she couldn't help moaning and parting her lips. Puck's mouth should be illegal she thought vaguely as his tongue slid past her lips and rubbed against hers. Capturing his tongue between her lips and sucking on it she startled a groan out of her boyfriend and she knew she'd be getting a workout that afternoon before her dads came home. "Fuckin' hell baby," Puck groaned into her mouth as he slowly drew away. "You tryin' to make me fuck you up against the locker," He muttered into her ear as he eased back.

Rachel was dreamy with everything he'd woken in her, "Hmm...maybe?" She lifted a hand to his face and touched his cheek tenderly. "I love you so much Noah." Out of the corner of her eye she saw Finn stop and stare at them. Puck leaned down and gently touched his lips to hers, such sweetness, tender love in his kiss, not even seeing the taller boy.

"I love you too Rachel," He told her softly. "You're fuckin' awesome baby."

"What the hell man," Finn finally found his mouth if not his brain and began his rant. Rachel rolled her eyes.

"No Finn, you don't get to start," Rachel stood in front of Puck, suddenly outraged that her ex boyfriend, one of the two men who'd lied to her and hurt her, thought he could object to Puck being with her. "I love him. We're together. Nothing you say will change my mind or his," She cast a glance at Puck, "I hope."

"Don't hafta hope baby," Puck wrapped his arms around her waist. "You know I'm stubborn." Rachel sighed in spite of her anger as he pressed a tender kiss to her temple.

"You see Finn? He loves me. Likes me even. He's good to me," Rachel said quietly, keeping her voice steady. "So I'm not going to be dramatic or loud about this. I want you to leave us alone. I don't deserve him but I love him so much. So please if you ever cared about me, even a little. Leave us alone." She saw Finn's hands clench into fists and couldn't help flinching back against Puck.

"Baby?" Puck knew when she was afraid, he'd held her coming out of a nightmare more than once, and very quickly put her behind him, "Finn, man ease off." He hissed at the bigger boy. "You're scarin' her."

"What?" Finn didn't get it and Rachel sighed.

"Fuck it," Puck rolled his eyes and grabbed his bag from the floor where he'd dropped it. "C'mon baby."

"Yeah," Rachel agreed tiredly. "I just want to be alone with you."

"You got it baby," Puck wrapped his arm around her waist and she leaned on him as he guided her out to his truck. She never got tired of how he held her, or helped her into the truck, tucking her inside before he shut the door. In his own way he was a lovely gentleman.

She was quiet on the ride to her house, humming along with his radio until they pulled up to her house, "Noah?"

"Yeah?" He threw the truck into park and looked at her, "You okay?"

"I'll be all right, Daddy wants me to go back to therapy and I think he might be right," Rachel sighed. "I just..." She looked up at him, "I regret being with Jesse, and in some ways I regret being with Finn, but part of me... part of me wonders...if I hadn't made those mistakes...would I be with you."

"Rachel, I was just bidin' my time," Puck told her with a smile. "I figured once we both got outa Lima I'd make my move. Thought when we were in New York we'd both be ready."

"When did you get smarter than me," Rachel couldn't help smiling. "It's not fair. If I don't have my brains what do I bring to this relationship?"

"Oh I'm pretty sure you're still smarter than me," Puck laughed and she sighed happily. She loved making him laugh. "But we're destined baby. We're a couple a hot looking Jews. It's only natural."

Rachel giggled and rolled her eyes at him, "Then I won't worry about expressing my regret in therapy." She sighed. "Come on inside, I'll start everything for dinner and then we can go up to my room."

"Can you teach me how to make that eggplant thing?" Puck asked as he hopped out of the truck and helped her down. "I think Mom and Amita might like it."

"I'm actually rethinking this plan," Rachel smirked up at him. "After that kiss you gave me in the hall I really need you to pay me some attention. I'll figure out something else for dinner. Right now I want to have you in a locked room and no one else around."

"Should I be afraid?" Puck asked as she unlocked the door and keyed in the alarm code. "I mean I knew when we first dated that if we ever got into bed it would be fantastic intense. But should I be worried I'm gonna get tied down? Because if we're gonna do that I'm up for it, I just need to call home and let Mom know that I'm gonna be over here a few days."

Rachel couldn't help laughing and shaking her head even as she locked the door behind her and reset the alarm, "God I just love you Noah."

"Enough to handcuff me to the bed?" Puck teased as he followed her up to her room.

"Maybe," She grinned. "But maybe I'll just insist on you showing me a new position," Rachel locked her bedroom door and turned to look at him. "Noah."

He smiled and put down their bags before wrapping her up in his arms, "I'm right here Rachel." He kissed her in that gentle way he had, the way that always showed her just how much he loved her. "No matter what baby, I'm always gonna be here." He put his hand on her heart.

* * *

_Author's Note: So I told you Rachel's dads aren't stupid. I hope you are all enjoying this...we have the epilogue which is needful because I have to have my happy ending but this is the last full chapter._

_I've found that its a weakness of mine, real life usually sucks in some way so I want my fan fiction to have a happy ending or at least the potential for one._

_Thank you all for reading and all the kind reviews._


	12. Chapter 12: Epilogue

12 Epilogue

_But that's alright because I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie  
I love the way you lie_

He'd lied to her once, Puck shook his head as he ran through the halls. It had been a mistake. He'd had to admit it, tell her why and she'd sighed unhappily and he'd promised he'd never do it again. She'd known all along. It didn't matter what his reasons were, if he had the best intentions in the world, she'd known he was lying. A surprise party really wasn't worth it if the lying beforehand upset her so much. Spontaneous surprises, like flowers or a walk in the park at lunch were more fun, enjoyable for them both.

This time he'd just told her that he needed to keep a secret and that he was going to be gone for the afternoon. She'd sighed and huffed and been irritated but she'd nodded and asked if he'd be able to tell her eventually.

"Yeah baby, I just gotta make sure my surprise is an actual, you know, surprise," Puck grinned at her. Rachel had rolled her eyes again but she liked his surprises so she'd nodded and agreed.

But now he was running late thanks to that nosy parker jerk who'd caught him outside of Tiffany's. Rachel was already in the first rehearsal and he was going to make an ass of himself by being late.

"Sorry folks," He apologized as he walked in and took his seat next to his girl. "Had an errand and got stuck with some...you know...press," He looked at Rachel. "So before we get started I had something I wanna do. I wanted to do it before we officially started the show."

"Noah, what are you up to?" Rachel slanted an amused glance at him.

"Before you get to be an even bigger big shot and decide you can do better than me," Puck reached into his jacket pocket, "I wanted to sort of...solidify our deal."

"Our deal?" Rachel blinked and tilted her head, "Noah what are you..."

Puck pushed himself out of his chair and knelt in front of Rachel, "About ten years ago, you an' me promised that we'd never stop trying to make this work. And that's a promise we kept. I wanna make more promises Rachel. I want to never stop trying with you, but I want us to be married when we're trying." He pulled out the box he'd gotten that afternoon and handed it to her. "I tried to pay attention when you were talking about rings baby so I hope you like it because I blew this months rent on it."

He grinned as she giggled and dove at him kissing him passionately and ignoring the box for a moment, "Yes, yes, absolutely yes." She gasped out. "Of course I'll marry you."

Puck sighed in relief and picked up the box she'd dropped, "Well thank God." He kissed her back. "If you like the ring put it on. Otherwise we'll hafta stop by Tiffany's after the read through."

She opened the box and he had the pleasure of seeing Rachel Berry, his brand new fiancée speechless. "Oh my God, Noah..." She was legit crying, he'd made her cry the ring was so great or (not a good thought) so ugly. "Oh I love it," She slipped it on her finger right away and admired the twinkle.

Puck hadn't paid a lot of attention to the cut, color, clarity and carat lecture the jeweler had given him, he'd just tried to pick out the ring that reminded him most of Rachel. It was bright and sparkly and pretty. He really wasn't sure how much it had cost and he was just grateful that he'd managed to make some money since he'd left Lima. "Guess it's good we had some hit records huh?" He laughed as she watched the ring twinkle in the light. "C'mon magpie, time to go to work."

"Like anything we read is going to top that," One of the other actors called with a grin. "Seriously?"

"Hey I helped write the music, I hope it's at least decent," Puck called back with a grin. He had done a little more than help write the music, the entire play was based off one of his first albums, the one Rachel had helped write. It had won a Grammy as well as praise from critics for how he and Rachel had handled the subject matter of the songs, specifically love and the damage it can do as well as the healing it could bring. One of Broadway's bigwigs had liked the music so much that when he'd met Rachel at an audition he'd gone a little fanboy on her. She'd already gotten the part but the producer/director had been so pleased to meet her he'd kept Rachel after rehearsal until Puck had come to get her.

Having a guy Rachel practically worshipped praise his music had thrown Puck for a loop at first. But after a couple of weeks of rehearsals and getting to know the dude they'd all gotten used to each other. Eventually the story of how Rachel and Puck had met and eventually dated came out along with the source the album's subject matter. Puck had never thought anyone would want to do a 'Mamma Mia' with one of his albums but the money was good, he got to help with the musical adaptation and Rachel had the lead. He wasn't any great shakes at acting but the director was pretty stoked to get him into a little pivotal role near the end of the play. Typecasting he called it, the love interest of the future, after Rachel's character had gone through hell.

Rachel had agreed and kissed Puck gently when he'd just tilted his head, not objecting but not quite understanding, "The movie I made you watch about Harvey Milk," She'd reminded him. "It was right. You have to give them hope."

Puck had just grinned and shrugged and said it was fine with him. So now he was an actor, singer, songwriter, musician along with Rachel's new fiancé. At least the money was good, he smiled at Rachel who was still making her ring sparkle in the lights before she looked up at him pressed her lips to his gently. "Oh baby," Rachel grinned at him. "I love you." He chuckled and stood, carrying her with him back to his chair.

"Love you too Rachel," He kissed her gently and picked up the script she'd dropped. "Now let's get to work people."

"Well if we must," She grinned up at him and Puck couldn't think of anywhere else in the world he'd rather be than in a drafty theatre with the love of his life sitting in his lap.

Fin

* * *

_Author's Note: And we have come to the end my dears. I hope you enjoyed this and that it didn't get boring towards the end. I'm kind of pleased with how it turned out. _

_Oh, as a side note, if you don't recognize the reference, 'Milk' is an outstanding movie staring Sean Penn and is well worth watching. You'll probably cry your eyes out if you're anything like me but its still a great movie. Penn won an Oscar for his role if that gives you any indicators._

_But thank you all for reading and indulging my need to write something a little darker (at least in the beginning) and get all this out. _


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